Ours is the Fury | Game of Thrones OC

46

When I woke up again, I felt nearly myself, the cold had subsided into a dull ache and I could move all my limbs.

I also checked the room for anybody but it was clear, so I got up quickly and found a neatly folded dress on the chair where Jon Snow was sat last time I woke. It was bigger than necessary but I was also smaller than I should be, my stomach rumbled at the thought.

There was only silence when I opened the door, it was relieving to know that it wasn't locked, so I slipped out and closed it quietly.

It took a little while for me to hear any voices, but I passed by many closed doors and even saw the snow falling heavily outside, thankful that I was no longer out in it.

Finally, I came to a slightly open door where I heard familiar voices and the clinking of cups, I peered through and saw Jon and another man whom I didn't recognise, he looked kind and smiley so I knocked gently and watched them both turn around rapidly.

"Your grace!" The unfamiliar man stood but I put my hands up in a sort of defence and shook my head.

"No no please! Just Lya" I assured him and he sighed, taking his seat again while Jon pushed out an empty one for me.

"She's at Castle Black now, Sam, not titles here" Jon reminded his friend and he chuckled lightly, I had the feeling I had interrupted an important conversation.

"Did I impose?" I asked cautiously, taking the seat and wringing my hands in my lap, I looked over at Jon but when he glanced at me, I looked back down. I couldn't help but feel guilt, maybe in some way or some world I could've done something to save Robb or I could've helped his father more. I even knew where Sansa was, and what was happening to her but I couldn't tell him, he would resent me for not helping her.

"Of course not" Sam reassured me, "We were just discussing the Lord Commander's latest decisions"

"Lord Commander?" I finally made eye contact with Jon and he nodded grimly.

"I'm afraid so, and not so popular decisions either" He added, taking another drink.

"I see" I leaned back in the chair, falling into a slouch, feeling nothing like a princess, especially when I was offered a drink, I took it and just stared at it.

The men didn't ask me any questions, they left me mulling over my drink, continuing their conversation.

"What?" Jon demanded, I looked up nervously but kept my head low.

"I wanted to ask you something" Sam started, I sensed it was private so I acted busy and put down the odd drink and stood up, looking around the room and out the window into the courtyard where dozens of men were sparring or talking or drinking. "To ask something of you. Send me, Gilly and the baby to Oldtown so I can become a maester. That's what I'm meant to be, not this"

"I need you here, Sam, if you leave whose left to give me advice I trust?" Jon insisted, I glanced over and he looked back but a brawl in the courtyard drew away my attention. I watched the man spit out blood and I didn't even flinch, I used to hate violence, I would throw up after every tourney until I was about 13. Now, I just wipe the invisible blood from my hands, the thick hot liquid still tainting everything I do.

"Well there's Ed?" Sam suggested but Jon glared at him and they fell into silence.

I slowly retook my seat and stared at the wall in front of me, neither looked at me while I moved, this freedom was so new to me. It had been years since I could just move and no one would care or judge me.

"I'm more use to you as a maester, I'm more use to everyone now Maester Aemons gone. The citadel has the worlds greatest library, I'll learn about history, strategy, healing and other things, things that will help when" He trailed off, I shuffled and they both glanced over briefly then back to each other, "When they come", he finished.

I stayed silent, desperate to wonder who they were, I made a mental note to ask someone later.

"If Gilly stays here then she'll die and the baby that she named after me, will die and I'll end up dying too, trying to protect them. Which means the last thing that I will see in this world will be the look in her eyes when I failed her"

Again, I felt uncomfortable, staring at my hands, picking my nails, splitting the ends of my hair, anything to avoid looking like I'm paying attention.

"I'd rather see a thousand white walkers than see that" He finished and my question was answered, I'd heard that word, read it at Winterfell all those years ago but I couldn't remember what it meant.

Jon simply sighed sadly, then nodded stiffly, as if he really had to tell his body to do it, his mind adamant that he shouldn't.

"Thank you" Sam smiled a little.

"You know at the citadel, they'll make you swear if women too?" Jon tried one last attempt to dissuade his friend.

"Oh they'll bloody try!" Sam laughed, they shared a knowing glance and I looked between them as they laughed.

"At least the end of the world is working out for someone" Jon snorted and I hid a smile through my curtain of hair.

"I'll come back" Sam agreed.

"To your return" Jon raised his cup and Sam did the same.

"To my return"

They both paused, waiting with their cups raised, I sensed the awkwardness and looked up, brushing back my hair and seeing them both staring at me.

"Oh" I lifted my still full cup, "To your return?"

They both chuckled and clinked the cups together, I took a small sip then a gulp.

"Careful" Jon reached over and took the cup from me, his hand briefly touching mine and I drew in breath. Letting him guide my hand to set the cup down, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand.

"I guess I'm not the graceful princess that I used to be" I admitted and sniffed, reaching back for the cup and taking a delicate sip while they both watched closely.

"I should go get ready to leave, talk to Gilly" Sam got up and left, leaving me with Jon.

We both just sat in silence for a moment before he finally spoke.

"You know I wanna know" He started and I looked up sheepishly.

"Know what?" I feigned, twirling a strand of my hair which was sitting around my hips now.

"How you got here, why you're here, why you're not in Kings Landing where everyone thinks you are?" He listed off all the questions he had and I chewed my lip, wondering where to start.

"I haven't been in Kings Landing for three years, when my uncle attacked, I fled" I told him, "I've been running ever since, I thought the only place I could be free would be here, over the wall, out of my mothers grasp, even my brothers grasp"

"Your brother?" Jon questioned, "Didn't Joffrey die?"

"Tommen, he's king and he wants me home, he won't hurt me when I'm there but he will do anything to bring me home. I love him for it and I would give anything to see him and Myrcella again but it's too risky. I can't think what my mother would say if she saw me again" I leaned back in my seat and sighed sadly.

Jon nodded slowly, "Your family isn't easy"

"No" I laughed, the most organic feeling of joy I had had in a long time.

"But over the wall, Lya, it won't be any easier" He explained, "It's dangerous"

"You don't know my life" I shook my head violently, "I can't stay here"

"Yes you can" He insisted, "Here, you're safe and she will never look for you here"

"How do you know?" I scowled, "She's crazy"

"Lya" Jon reached forward and put his hand over mine, I looked up quickly. "Sorry", he moved his hand but I reached out and grabbed it.

"Its okay" I assured him, "Everyone needs a bit of help sometimes"

"Stay as long as you need" He told me, "Just don't go over the wall"

"I will stay until I'm well enough to continue" I negotiated and with a long sigh and a few head shakes and nose wrinkles, he responded.

"Fine" I shook our joined hands gently and he chuckled, we both did.