why did it have to be me? - boreo

the perfect word for us. <3 (end!)

    I had been awake for three excruciatingly long hours. Of course, they weren't as bad as I would later paint them out to be. They were just long.

And boring.

And lonely.

Boris was dead asleep next to me, arm draped around my waist. I felt nauseous, but I didn't know what for. I hadn't eaten in a while, so how could I throw anything up? I didn't know.
     Slowly, but surely, he started waking up, his long eyelashes fluttering as he opened his eyes. He looked at me and smiled, pulling me closer.
     "Morning," he mumbled with a smile. "How'd you sleep?"
     "I slept okay, I woke up a couple hours ago," I shrugged. "Did you sleep okay?"
     "I did, thank you, Potter," he smiled, kissing the top of my head. "Did you eat yet?"
     "No, why?" I asked. "Was I supposed to?"
     "Yes, you were," he sighed. "C'mon, let's get something in you, hm?"
     "I'm not hungry," I said, trying to burrow into the bed. "I'm not going to eat if I'm not hungry."
     "Well, you are, apparently," he said, sitting me up. "Either you're going to cooperate and walk down, or you can throw one of your baby tantrums and I can carry you down."
     "I'm not going to eat!" I protested. "I'm not, you can't make me, no one can, so don't think about it."
     He sighed and picked me up bridal style, carrying me downstairs as I tried to get out of his arms. He just rolled his eyes at my attempts and continued down the stairs, finally setting me on my feet when we were in the kitchen. He still had a grip on my waist as he rummaged around for something.
     "I won't leave, you can use both hands to look for what you think you're going to make me eat," I told him, trying to wriggle out of his grasp. "I'll clean everything up."
     "Alright, as long as you don't go upstairs." he said, letting go of me. I nodded, picking up the empty beer bottles scattered around the room and disposing of them.
     "Everything's cleaned up," I smiled, hopping on the counter. "So, what are you going to try to force down my throat?"
     "Toast," he mumbled, not paying attention. He looked really focused on the butter part of it. "You're going to eat it. I don't care."
      "Why?" I asked. "Why do I have to eat? What about you? You have to eat, too."
      "Don't change the subject. You know damn well I'm going to eat," he said. He broke off a piece of toast and handed it to me. "Eat it."
     I did, wondering what his problem was. "I'm not hungry anymore. I don't want to eat."
     "I don't care, you have to eat," he told me, grabbing another piece and handing it to me. "Just a couple more pieces, okay?"
     I nodded. I kept eating them until I had finished the piece. He smiled and pulled me off the counter, putting his hands on my waist.
     "I'm sorry," he mumbled, his eyes glossing over. "I am."
      "Why?" I asked, confused. Was he apologizing for making me eat or something?
      "For not noticing sooner, I never knew," he said quietly. "I wish I did, I'm so sorry."
      "It's okay," I shrugged. He knew now. That's all I could ask. "It's really fine."
      He nodded and hugged me, almost squeezing the air out of me. I laughed a little bit, doing the same to him.
      "C'mon, I have an idea," he said, dragging me back upstairs. He grabbed his phone and opening up Kotku's contact. "What should I say?"
      "Huh? What do you mean?" I asked, visibly confused. What was he going to say to her?
      "I'm breaking up with her, Potter, what do I say?" he asked again. "How should I do it?"
      "Tell her you found someone good," I laughed. "And that they're not so fucking annoying, or thickheaded."
      He laughed and typed it out, handing it to me. I was cackling at this point, the amount of insults we dished out were hilarious. He took the phone back and sent it, blocking her immediately after. He set his phone down and turned to me, grabbing my face and pressing our lips together. He pulled away after maybe a minute and just looked at me.
     "Potter, do you know what I'm going to ask you?" he mumbled, smiling ear to ear.
     I shook my head. "What are you going to ask me?"
    "Will you be my boyfriend?" he asked, giggling a little bit.
     I nodded and threw my arms around him, both of us bursting out with laughter. We were both clearly giddy, but I don't think we could help it. I couldn't, especially. I had been waiting for this for a while now.
      He pulled me off of him and grabbed my waist again, pulling me as close to him as possible until he had our bodies pressed against each other's. He leaned down and smiled, and he looked like he wanted to say something, but he didn't. Instead, he kissed me again, running his hands up and down my sides as I put mine in his hair. It felt good to finally be able to love him without him technically cheating. He was finally mine, and I was finally his. It felt good, more than good, actually.

It felt amazing.

     I could finally enjoy his touch without worrying about him forgetting it or ditching to hang out with her. I could finally kiss him without worrying about if he thought it was gross. Best of all, I could finally stop (for the most part) thinking he was ashamed of me. Clearly, he wasn't so far.
     Everything about him set me off. Anytime he touched me it felt like fireworks, and it used to kill me to know we weren't each other's, but now we were. We really, really, really were.
     I don't think I ever wanted a moment to last so long when I was in the actual moment. I didn't want this kiss to end. But it obviously had to, just like all of them.
     He pulled away and looked at me, eyes soft as they studied my expression. He put a hand on my face and smiled, kissing my forehead quickly.

     "I love you, real love," he mumbled, using his free hand to grab mine and lace our fingers together. "I mean it, I do, Potter."
     "I love you, too," I muttered, a small smile pulling at the corners of my mouth. I let go of his hand and hugged him again, bursting out into a fit of laughter.
     "You are stupid, Potter," he giggled, kissing the top of my head. "But is okay, I love you anyway."
"That's so mean! I am not stupid, I'm ten times smarter than you!" I smiled, nudging him in the shoulder lightly.
"Uh huh. Whatever you say, Potter," he joked, rolling his eyes playfully. "I'm glad she's gone now."
"Yeah, me too," I said, happy now that she was finally out of my life. "She was so fucking irritating."

We stayed talking about her for a while, deciding after hours of badmouthing the bitch to finally sleep. We laid down next to each other on the bed, holding each other close. It wasn't weird anymore, there weren't any unspoken rules now. We didn't have to worry about boundaries, or staying quiet about those nights that we both remembered, but never brought up. We were finally something. He drifted off to sleep, while I decided on the perfect word for us:

lovers.

Fin!

a/n: HIII!!! ik it's been forever since i was writing and i'm so sorry that the end took so long!! i've been so bogged down with testing for diff high schools and then this incident at school happened and it was a lot for me to take in at once, plus volleyball, and i felt like my writing wouldn't be as good as it could have been. but i feel better now and i'm actually pretty proud of this!! but this is the end of this book, and until then, thank u so so so much!! every one of u have given me inspiration to keep writing and i cannot thank u all enough for that. i hope u all have lovely days/nights, and thank u again!! i love u all so much 🫶🏻💕