Green love

Just another day?

*beep beep beeeep* Shrek opens his brown orbs, annoyed and groggy. He turns off the alarm on his phone, accidentally dropping and cracking it on the hardwood floor. "Oh darn it." Shrek groans in his deep morning voice.
He slowly walks into the outhouse he built after moving in. Human neighborhoods never made him feel at home..so he added an outhouse in the back of his house to get just a bit of that feeling.

Shrek while taking longer than usual absolutely destroying the outhouse, since Fiona and their ugly ogre babes were away.
While taking a monstrous shit, Shrek struggled to use his cracked phone. "I already need a new one.". He sighed after inhaling the beautiful smell of the outhouse.

After finishing the rest of his morning routine Shrek gets ready to go and run some needed errands. He pulls the list out of his ass crack, where Fiona last placed it before her and the babes left. Shrek wiggles his toes before shoving his calloused, green, slightly tinted orange feet in his boots. He walked outside into the driveway. Then he struggles to get his green, broad, muscly, thighs and ass in the beat-up car. 

Driving through town Shrek spots a bright building with crowds and crowds lines going through to other streets. Then he notices a big sign with a beautiful, ravishing man with a mask." oh is dat Dream?" Shrek didn't care much for the celebrity but he needed a gift for his niece who loved Dream. After hours of being in line, Shrek finally gets near the front seeing Dream a few feet away. While signing autographs Dream gazes off and sees the big dirty ogre popping out of the crowd. Dream suddenly looks back to the autograph, flustered noticing he messed up his signature horribly. He apologized and gave the fan an extra goodie bag. The people line gets confused when Dream's bodyguards whisper in his ear. Dream shouts "MY APOLOGIES EVERYONE BUT I HAVE TO RUN!". Shrek gasps "no...". the crowd slowly fades away unhappily. Shrek walks to his car where he finds...DREAM STEPPING INTO A LIMO?!?! Shrek runs towards Dream's car and rudely stops the door from closing. "DREAM PLEASE!" Shrek pleads "I NEED THIS FOR MY NEICE!" Dream intrigued by the ogre's rugged strong body gives him an autograph and a goodie bag. Dream then licks his dry cracked tiny Lips and has the driver speed off.