More Than Expected

36

Ri'asia POV

I haven't talk to Zha in five days other then him just checking on me and bringing me food and leaving right back out. He has been in and out. Honestly my mind hasn't been on him it has been on the way me and my dad's bond just demolished. I haven't spoken to my dad since everything went down at his house but I wasn't even speaking to him for two months before that.

It has to be something deeper than just what my mom said because I can't accept the fact that he actually believe that shit. It does not make sense and it is very confusing because what was the real issue.

I rubbed my back, my back has been hurt and cramping for like three days now and I never even get a chance to talk Zha. By Time I talk to him I totally forget.

"Your dad is here." Carmen walked in my room.

"He is probably here to see Jayda or Ant or somebody." She sighed and look like she wanted to say something but just nodded and walked out.

I don't have time to deal with the shit. If he didn't wanna be around me then his wish was granted. It was so easy for him to throw me away now is my turn. Not that he even cares but hey I don't need my mom and I don't need him.

"You good?" Ant walked in my room and I nodded.

I am honestly not though but who cares life goes on.

"We about to go to Miami so-"

"Okay." I ran my ringers through my hair. "That's fine."

"It's just for two days."

"Okay." I nodded.

"Okay sis, I love you."

"I love you too, be safe." He walked out and I grabbed my phone and called Zhafir.

"Wussup?"

"So are we not together no more?" I asked. " because if so let me know. I mean it's no problem but let it be known what it is. Because if we together I don't know how much longer I can take this type of stuff. You don't know how to communicate. You don't understand and when you're in a relationship there is no disappearing. I am your partner this is a relationship so let's start acting like this is a partnership. Communication is key I understand that you may be upset about the last situation but this is a no."

" where are you getting there from? You are my girl and you not going no where."

" OK so what is the problem why aren't you applying pressure like you did when you wanted me. You are making me feel like you don't wanna be with me and if that's the case let it be known."

"I wanna be with you, I have always been this way and-"

" and you are going to have to change just like I am going to have to change to make this relationship work. You do not get to get me where you want me and start treating me like you don't have to try anymore. You will always have to razzle dazzle me and treat me like you fucking want me. You don't get to stop. So I'm not gonna ever put my hands on you again so you don't have to worry about that but one thing you're going to do all this disappearing and the going missing for days cut it out. It's not gonna work or I will leave." I hung up.

It made me feel like shit that tattoo mean that I love beyond myself didn't even wanna be around me.

The spark in our relationship was definitely gone. I could blame myself and my behavior but honestly I think the spark being gone is definitely what causes me to snap. It makes me feel like I'm not good enough and sooner or later it's gone to take a turn like Trey. It definitely makes me feel like he isn't attracted to me anymore and he just fucked around and got me pregnant so now he feels like he is stuck.

"You okay?" Jayda walked in.

"Yeah I am fine."

"What is wrong? When you say fine you are never okay. What is it?" I shrugged and I instantly started to cry and I felt her sit infront of me and she place her hand on my knee.

"I don't even know what is going on right now. I just wish I wasn't pregnant and I wish I never even- I just I am so confused right now. Like what is fucking wrong with me. My dad is fucking stressing me out to the point I can't sleep or eat, I feel like I am going through a heart break. I wanna run to him but he turned his back on me and I can see him how I did before. Everyone is slowly drifting away and falling the the gaps in my fingers. I am not even doing shit and that is the confusing part. It makes me feel like I am not enough or too much. I would have never imagined my dad treating me like this and so suddenly."

"He is in the living room waiting for Ant. Why don't you just talk to him?"

" he is the father and I didn't do anything to him all of this is because of him so when he's ready to talk he needs to come fucking talk to me. And quite frankly I don't want to talk right now. I don't give a fuck to hear what he has to say."

I felt a sharp pain in my back.

"We'll come in there with me."

"For what? There is nothing out there."

" I just don't understand this whole situation. Why would he believe her out of all people? That makes no sense. It has to be deeper than that." I shrugged and wiped my face and she hugged me. "Listen I will always be her for you. No matter what you have me and I know that may not seem like a lot or enough but I love you."

"That is everything and all I need at the end of the day and I love you so much."

There was a knock at the door and Carmen made her way in.

"I am so sorry Ri. I love you and I am so sorry." She spoke calmly and I nodded. "What I did was so uncalled for and I have Had time to sit back and think about my actions. And you guys were totally right it was selfish and I did it because I just wanna you guys back. It felt like you didn't need me anymore. Even though I complained about looking after you guys it was the only thing that kept me sane I felt needed. I love you guys so much and the fact that I hurt you or went as far as I did I truly regret it with every bone in my body. I am so sorry."

"Carmen-" I paused because even though I missed her so much it scared me. "I don't know what to say but I greatly appreciate you apology and I love you too. Everything happened so fast and it's like our friendship just went downhill within a span of a week. Everything was so in the moment and impulsive and unnecessary if we're being honest. I truly miss your friendship and your guidance."

" I promise that I will never do anything like that ever again. I promise to be less judgmental and less selfish. I miss you guys so much." I looked at Jayda and she sighed and looked at me and nodded.

"Okay." The stayed silent.

"Well we were going to got out to eat tonight and maybe go to a movie if you wanted to come." Jayda spoke.

"Okay I'll go get dressed." We nodded and she left out the room.

"Let's see how this going to go. No negative thoughts." I nodded.

I groaned at the pain shooting up my back.

"Okay." She frowned up her face for a second and the went back to he normal face. "My back hurts."