More Than Expected

64

Zha POV

I watched Ri'asia walk around the living room with an attitude. She don't even know why she mad. She just be in these moods randomly. Her mood swings are so unexpected yet you know they are coming.

"Ri'asia what-"

"Not right now." She waved me off.

"Okay." I got up and made my way into her room.

I looked at all the boxes.

They have yet to do anything and I am really getting tired of looking at this shit.

Instead of complaining I mines-well get this shit together.

I started going through the boxes looking for her clothes

I find the boxes with the hanger and just started off by separating them by colors. I put my AirPods and turn on some music and went to work.

I could help but wonder about my grandma. I just wish her mind set was different. I don't even know how to excuse her behavior.

I honestly just wish that my families dynamic was completely different. I wish that we had an opportunity to be close but I sit back and I think that that possibly would've stopped me from meeting Lenny, and I feel like that is a domino effect of me running into Asia. So I am kinda happy. Things went this way. But sometimes I do wish shit was a lot easier.

I feel like I worry about everybody way too much but that's because I've lost so many people. I don't wanna lose any of my people. I don't want to lose Asia, I refuse to lose Asia. I feel like that's scary for me because how far am I willing to go for her? Sometimes I let my mind wander off into these dark places, and it's like it never ends. I will kill anybody, travel any place, at any time for anyone in my family, but especially Asia. She is damn near my whole heart.

She is such a beautiful person inside and out. And I can honestly say that she is definitely trying to change for the better. Changing to progress in our relationship. She just been through a lot of shit and I have to give her space to make mistakes and correct them by herself.

Before I knew it, I had everything hanging up and folded in her closet. So I just grabbed the boxes of shoes and separated them and paired them together and lined them up in her closet.

I started to break down all the boxes just to get them out of the way so I can see what I have left.

I grabbed the box with her underwear and socks in Perry them and folded them. I love doing shit like this. It makes me calm, it brings me back down to earth, and I have a minute to really think.

I have always been our cleaner. that's what my grandma used to call it. Anytime I'm stressed or I am bored or any type of emotion. Cleaning always got me through it. Antonio says I have OCD but it's way more to OCD than just being clean or cleaned up. I think.- I don't even know if I have OCD.

"Baby!" Asia yelled and I made my way out the room.

"Yes?" I sat beside her.

"I am sorry." She started crying.

"Asia, it's fine. No harm done. You just needed some space baby. We all have moments like that. I just returned the favor of respecting that. You respect when I need space so I will do the same for you." I rubbed her back. "What is wrong?" I pulled her into my arm and held her firmly.

" I don't know, I just know that it is just so much going on. everybody's alright and I understand that, but that just showed me how easy it is to lose one of you guys. And I just been thinking. I don't want you guys doing this forever. My dad, Antonio, you. I just want this all to be over. Even though the car accident didn't have anything to do with you guys line at work, is jus-" she sighed pulling out of my hold and ran her fingers through her hair. "It's fine."