The Note

Chapter 17

Finally, the time passes and I head out for the swing sets, hitting shuffle and proceeding on my route. I reach the swing sets and notice that Michael is not there. I check my phone, I'm a bit early. I sit down, close my eyes and continue listening to my music. I smile as Radiohead's "Karma Police" comes on and open my eyes to see Michael leaning up against a tree, watching me with a grin on his face. I jump up, startled.

"I'm sorry, I was just really into my music."

"No need to be, I understand. That's what music is all about. Making people entranced in a whole other world."

"You weren't there long were you?"

"No.

"Good."

"Just long enough to hear "Karma Police" come on."

I blush. "Are my headphones really that loud?"

"Yeah," he says as he laughs. "Perfectly okay though. Music is supposed to help people block out the outside world, and allow them to tune into the one they want to be in."

"Very deep, intellectual statement."

"Thanks. Not everything that comes out of my mouth can be stupid. While rare, I have my smart moments. Anyways, what I wanted to talk to you about is sensitive I realize, but I need to know."

"I understand."

"I need to know why. Why you left, why you just left a note."

"I didn't want to leave Michael, just know that. It wasn't you. I left because your success is growing and I didn't want to be in the way of that. I didn't want to hold you back, I didn't want to slow you down. It hurt me and I know it hurt you worse, but that's why."

He doesn't talk for a few moments. I think he's taking it all in.

"Then why did you just leave me a note?"

"I left you something that my mother didn't leave me. She just left. I had no goodbye, I had no reason why. People leave the world for many reasons; sometimes they feel as if the world would be better off without them. My mother left because she couldn't face the world anymore. People write notes to tell loved ones that they couldn't stay and why, and try to express how guilty they feel. I left a note because I couldn't stay. I felt guilty; I was stopping you from achieving your dream. I thought you'd be better off without me."

I stare at the ground as tears form in my eyes. I feel arms wrapping around me, a hand behind my head guiding my face into a soft chest.

"All this time . . . I thought you hated me."

"I could never hate you."

"I never thought about you feeling that way. I'm so sorry. I just want you to know you were never stopping my dream. Music is my dream, but you are my world."

We stand there holding each other, my tears slowly start to fade away.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why did you come check up on me that day when I ran inside?"

"It was raining."

I stand there confused. He must notice because he says, "It started raining and everyone ran under cover and you ran inside. I know how much you love the rain; you would never run inside to avoid it."

"You remembered me saying that? That was two years ago!"

"It was our first date, actually. We were sitting in the park, a light breeze in the air. You looked stunning in your purple dress. Out of no where it begins to rain. I took off my jacket to give to you, but you wouldn't take it, you were laughing and told me that the rain was one of your favorite things in the entire world. I remember thinking, "This girl is an absolute mystery; I think I love her." Then you pulled out your phone and started playing your favorite song, Radiohead's "Karma Police," and asked me if I would dance with you. And there we were, dancing under a willow tree, in the middle of the pouring rain. I remember at the end of our dance, I kissed you. Of course I remember."

I stand looking up at him, still in his arms, with a grin on my face. "I could stay in your arms forever."

"I want to hold you for forever."

"Go ahead, I won't stop you."

And in that moment, my world finally felt complete.