One Helluva Story (X-reader) Cancelled

The Intermidiate Murder Professionals (pilot)

2022

You and blitzø didn't have to walk far to arrive at the IMP building (in this story they have a whole building for IMP I know it's not accurate to the show but if you don't like it then why are you reading this) Blitzø sets down his flintlock and walks you over to the meeting room where there are 3 other demons already sitting down. One looks like a anthropomorphic wolf, and two more small demons that seem to have some sort of relationship.

Blitzø: What's your name?

Y/N: Y/N.

Blitzø gestures to a seat.

Blitzø: okay Y/N just sit here and watch how we do things around here.

You sit down and just observe.

Blitzø: This is Y/N he's hoping to be a new employee. But now back to business. I know business has been a bit... slow lately, yes its no one's fault, I'm not naming any names here *looks at the small male demon* Moxxxie.

After Blitzø says this the small male demon who presumably was named Moxxie gives Blitzø a wtf face.

Y/N: *whispers to Moxxie* it's okay I know how you feel. I used to be just like that.

Moxxie: Thanks Y/N

Blitzø: Now does anyone have... any bright ideas on how we can get business drumming up again?

The small female demons eye's sparkle.

??????: What about a car wash?

Blitzø and Y/N: This is hell millie nobody cares about their cars being cleaned here/ I'd assume no one down here really cares about the cleanliness of cars.

You and blitzø look at each other with blitzø smiling.

Blitzø: I like the way you think Y/N.

Y/N: likewise

Blitzø: what is everyone's opinion on a billboard?

Y/N: that would be-

Moxxie: we can't afford a billboard, sir.

Blitzø pushes away Moxxxie

Blitzø: Helpful, Moxxie. Really glad your in the room right now. Have you guys forgotten what service we provide? Y/N you might wanna watch this

Blitzø turns on a TV that shows the I.M.P. crew brutally murdering people from the overworld as they are paid to do. Blitzø whacks a man in the face with a mallet, Moxxie is blown away firing a shotgun through the mouth of a man tied to a chair, the anthropomorphic wolf swings a man back and forth in her mouth, and Millie decapitates someone with a harpoon and laughs. Then, it zooms out to everyone watching the TV, with Loona, Millie, and Blitzø eating popcorn.

Y/N: So you guys murder people?

Blitzø: we work as assasins.

Moxxie: I don't need any reminding, sir. Considering you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious TV ad last week. One that you then additionally paid to have run for a full three hours on a channel... nobody watches.

Blitzo: Uh, hey. Excuse me? What's "obnoxious" about a super-fun jingle, alright? It's a fun distraction when an advertisement's spittin' bullshit!

Millie: People love musicals, sir.

Blitzo: Exactly, Millie! And we're basically doin' a musical. *does jazz hands* Are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams like my dad did?

Moxxie: Sir--