No Crazy Matches Our Crazy

Help from Tin Man & Banana Boat

Emma's POV:

We're about to knock on the door to the Xavier School, but it opens to reveal Negasonic Teenage Warhead.

Wade: "Ripley, from 'Alien 3'."

Negasonic: "Fuck, you're old."

Wade: "Ha! Fake laugh, hiding real pain. Go get Silver Balls."

Negasonic: "You guys going for a bite? Early bird special?"

Me: "Oh, like there's something wrong with eating before sundown and saving money. No, you know that bad guy that you let go? He's got my sister. You're gonna help us get her back."

Colossus: "Wade, Emma, is that you?"

Wade: "Yeah, it's us, Deadpool & Phoenix, and we got an offer that you can't refuse."

Me: "We'll wait out here. Big house, funny that we only ever see two of you. It's almost like the writer couldn't think of another X-Man."

{Time skip}

So, Colossus, Negasonic, and I are in the backseat of Dopinder's cab while Wade sits in the front passenger seat.

Wade: "And that is why, in my opinion, the movie 'Cocoon' is pure pornography."

Dopinder: *whispered* "Who brought this twinkly man?"

Me: "Twinkly, but deadly. Our chrome-penised friend here has agreed to do us this solid. In exchange, we said that we would consider joining his boy band."

Colossus: "It's not boy band."

Wade & I: "Sure it's not."

Wade: "So, any luck winning Gita back?"

Dopinder: "I tried to hold on tight, but Bandhu is more craftier and handsome than me."

Wade: "Well, I think you're pretty darn cute."

Like I said, supportive and loving. As the cab hits a speed bump, we hear a muffled scream coming from behind us.

Me: "Dopinder, what was that?"

Dopinder: *nervous laugh* "Uh, that was, Bandhu in the trunk."

Colossus: "Ban-who?"

Dopinder: "My romantic rival, Bandhu. He's tied up in the trunk. I'm doing as you said, DP. I plan to gut him like a tandoori fish, then dump his carcass on Gita's doorstep."

Wade turns to Colossus with a defensive look.

Wade: "I did not tell him to do that. Absolutely not. It got lost in translation. Dopinder, this is no way to win Gita's heart back.-*whispers*-I'm so proud of you.-Drop Bandhu off, safe and gentle-like.-*whispers*-Kill him.-And then, win Gita back the old-fashioned way, with your boyish charm.-*whispers*-Kidnap her."

Negasonic turns to Colossus with a smirk.

Negasonic: "He's super dead."

Dopinder pulls up at Francis' given location.

Me: "So, forgot my wallet. But, how about a crisp high-five?"

Wade: "For this guy? 10."