Cursed Freedom

Cuddling Secrets

(Story under construction  🏗)

   Chanyeol had scarcely ever remembered being this content in his entire life.

   It wasn't just the pleasure that he had been in with Baekhyun a few hours back, although that had been... earth-shattering.

   It was more about how pretty Baekhyun was, laying there, his head on Chanyeol's chest. Just casually running their fingers across each other's skin. And Baekhyun's continued happy sighs that stirred up a swelling feeling inside Chanyeol's chest that made his heart beat faster than normal.

   Cuddling with Baekhyun was another brand new experience, just as amazing as his first sexual experience had been.

   He had wanted this since they met. He thought about all those times he wanted to reach out and simply touch him, on the shoulder, or his hand... but he had always decided to keep his hands to himself in the end. Now he just couldn't stop himself from touching the smaller man, his hands roaming over his body. He wanted to feel the warmth of their skin against each other.

   It felt intimate, maybe in some ways even more intimate than the sexual part. He felt that he was opening himself up to being vulnerable before Baekhyun, but having the faith to believe that he would hold Chanyeol's vulnerability like something precious and fragile, always doing his best not to damage it. He had read a quote in a philosophy book once that had always stuck in his head. It had said, "Love is giving someone the power to ruin you, but trusting them not to."

   He felt that way about Baekhyun. It wasn't just because he was the only visitor that he had ever had, or that he was pretty and funny and sexy, it was more than that. He was special. He made Chanyeol feel things that couldn't be read about in his books, although that was as close as he could get to explaining his feelings. But... Maybe they weren't supposed to be explainable...

   He wasn't about to go confessing his undying love to the guy or anything cliche like that. At least not right now... but he craved to be that vulnerable thing in Baekhyun's hands.

   That's when the thought occurred to him. About last night, sleeping with Baekhyun's steady breathing sounding through the otherwise silent bedroom... He gathered up all the courage he could. He was about to make a bold move.

   "Baek?" He said.

   "Mmmmm," was his only reply. He sounded so dreamy, almost as if he were asleep.

   "Can I tell you a secret?"

   "Of course, Yeollie." He said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I'm right here. You can tell me anything."

   Chanyeol smiled at the little nickname Baekhyun had given him before sitting up and scooting back until he was leaning up against the headboard of the bed that they hadn't left yet. They had been cuddling in it for hours.

   Baekhyun sat up as well, cross-legged on the bed facing Chanyeol. He reached out to grab for his hand that had begun to get fidgety. "What is it?" He brought the hand up to his lips and kissed his knuckles.

   "I have a little bit of a problem... when I'm sleeping." Chanyeol finally said.

   "What kind of problem?" He asked, wrinkling his forehead in curiosity.

   "Well, I know I gave you your own room, and you probably love having your own space, and your own bed and everything all to yourself."

   "Ok, sweetheart, none of this is a confession or a secret." Baekhyun smiled and gave a slight giggle at Chanyeol and squeezed his hands reassuringly.

   "I have a really hard time sleeping in silence... But last night, with you in here, listening to you breathe... it was like my own personal lullaby. So... would you sleep in my bed with me at night? Or at least stay until I'm asleep. I swear, I will fall asleep fast, and I know, I know. I'm asking a lot, but-"

   Baekhyun barely had a chance to open his mouth before Chanyeol continued on, "I know that we just met and I know it seems like things are moving crazy fast with you and I, but you're already in my house, and it really-"

   Baekhyun just smiled and leaned forward. He put a gentle finger to Chanyeol's lips, shushing him. He jumped up and off the bed grabbing his clothes on, giggly and excited. "Let's go down and have something to eat. It's about dinner time, eh?" He spoke as he finished dressing.

   Embarrassed, Chanyeol's first thought was that Baekhyun had dismissed everything he had just said and so he crawled off the bed in pursuit of him, confused, to say the least.

   "Baekhyun. I know it seems silly, and if you don't wanna do it, it's fine, but can you at least answer the question? I know it's... it's stupid..." He put his head down and sighed, he grabbed for and put on his boxers, and began to reach for his jeans.

   Baekhyun turned around and sat, suddenly on the floor of the room, his legs tucked under him.

   "Chanyeol, can I tell you a secret?" He asked, looking up at the giant.

   "Um... ok?" He replied as he zipped up his jeans, his t-shirt was in his hand, and he threw it over his head, onto his body. He was now extremely confused, even more so than before.

   "Chanyeol, I'm going to tell you a story that I heard right after my parents died. It's stuck in my head ever since and I could never seem to let it go." He grabbed for Chanyeol's hands, pulling him down to his level.

   "O- okay..." Chanyeol answered. Kneeling down to sit knee to knee on the floor with Baekhyun, wondering where the hell this was going.

   "Once, there was a handsome prince who lived in a castle. This prince had everything he could ever want, but there was a catch, he was cursed to live out the rest of his days alone in his grand castle waiting for his true love to come and save him."

   Chanyeol kept his mouth firmly shut, and didn't crack a single expression after Baekhyun finished his little story.

   That sounded a whole lot like him. Like his story. Like his life. His very real life.

   "Why are you telling me this?"

   "You're the prince, are you not? I've spent most of my life moving from place to place, always thinking about the poor prince alone in his castle."

   "I- I'm not sure what to say to that."
Chanyeol replied, stone-faced.

   "You want to tell me something like 'you're crazy,' or 'you know that's a children's tale, right?' So... why aren't you? Huh? Why aren't you saying those things?"

   Chanyeol was silent until a sob rippled through the back of his throat and he faced away from Baekhyun. He scooted back on the carpet, he lacked the strength to stand. He put his hand to his face, ashamed of his reaction.

   Beakhyun, however, was not deterred. He crawled forward to Chanyeol, and climbed atop his lap until he was straddling him and put a hand under the large man's chin, forcing him to look at him. "Don't be embarrassed in front of me. Don't you do that, Chanyeol. There's something here, with you and I. I know you feel it too. I'm here for a reason. I can't say that I can rescue you, but I think I know who you are." He poked Chanyeol in the chest, over his heart. "And although I've seen a whole lot of terrible during my travels... I can't imagine living a life completely alone... in silence..."

   Chanyeol looked him in the eye, one last silent tear falling down his cheek.

   "Yes, I will sleep here in your bed with you. You don't have to live in the silence alone anymore." He pulled Chanyeol's chin towards him till their lips touched, both tasting the salty tears that had fallen down Chanyeol's face.

   Baekhyun stroked his hair and gently rubbed his thumbs across his cheeks until Chanyeol had calmed down.

   "Ok, I'm starving. Let's go find ourselves something to eat, shall we." He reiterated.

   Chanyeol was confused and curious about the story and how closely it resembled his, but Baekhyun was in the house with him now, he was no longer alone, and it seemed to him that that was enough. For now...