I really love your current cover and the mysterious, kind of creepy vibe it displays, as well as the central lantern that draws readers' attention. It's fairly simple, but it works. Some may feel it's too simple, and I can fairly agree with that as well. The colors scheme is very monochrome, so your cover might benefit from a burst of a different color, or something to that effect. I feel like you could easily make it more interesting by adding more of a background, just so we get a setting and readers can make more of a connection between your cover and what takes place within your book. The font too, is very simple. Something more dramatic might better convey the dark fantasy elements that readers will find within the pages. These are just some suggestions if you feel like changing it up (I noticed that your cover was created by someone on Instagram, so I don't know how achievable this is, but...), even though I do really like your current cover.
Blurb: 9/10
Your blurb is very intriguing from the first sentence. The only thing I can comment on is the word choice in a few places, as well as a couple missing commas. Here's my edits for the second paragraph:
But when strange, dangerous men drag a handful of Ravenwood kids into a world they never knew existed, paths cross and these five find themselves together in an otherworldly chaos they can never escape. And someone, driven by a purpose unknown yet sinister, is determined to hunt them down.
The reason for me switching up the order of this last paragraph is that, before, you go from talking about the kids, and then start the next sentence with "Driven by..." I felt like this introduced a little confusion as to who this sentence was talking about, even though you would know at the end of the sentence. But this way (in the edited) it immediately points out that these sinister motives are from another mysterious character.
Otherwise, your blurb is great! Short and to the point, it really leaves readers to ask questions. Who is this Brighteyes? Is he important enough to have the book named after him, or are there more mysterious connections to the title?
Chapter 1: 9.5/10
Reading through this chapter the first time, the biggest thing that bothers me is the transition between points of view. I personally love multiple pov's, but I'm not a fan of the really short snippets. The first change, where you get just a piece of what Jack is doing doesn't really provide much to the story on its own, so I don't see why you can't just merge it with the later, longer piece. The last short section focusing on Damien, though, doesn't bother me as much because you're still creating suspense as he lingers on the thought of the creepy man.
Moving on from that, there's really not much that I found I didn't like about this chapter. Your imagery is absolutely amazing, and I've not read many books on Wattpad with the same captivating descriptions that this story had. I also love the introduction of two of your characters right away, and how we get a glimpse of both of their lives and inner thoughts and conflicts. Damien, who doesn't truly feel like he has a home, who goes to parties and drinks with his friends to escape it all. And Jack, a guy with a somewhat mysterious background with certain views about relationships. As well as creepy black-suited men that follow both of them. I really loved the events so far, and the nice steady pace this story is developing, all the while keeping plenty of suspense and tension. Great job on this chapter!
Chapter 2: 9/10
I personally liked this chapter even better than the last. Your descriptions continue to amaze me, and the pursuing black-suited men continue to create plenty of suspense and mystery. I loved the detail about the drunk college student, especially, and how he'd gotten extremely close to the man in the diner, yet didn't seem to notice him. Nobody noticed him. I enjoyed reading about Jack and Damien finally running into each other, and the new friendship that was formed, which will certainly be important moving on since it seems these two boys have an uncertain future lingering in the distance. In this chapter there was a lot of dialogue as well, which is where the only thing I didn't like as much about this chapter. There's a lot of dialogue and a lot of dialogue tags. I would've preferred if there were less "he said"s and more action breaking up their dialogue. Otherwise, again, another great chapter and I truly enjoyed reading it.
Story Development: 9.5/10
Again, the pace in this story is quick and steady, and even in the two chapters I read, I can see the characters' family dynamics and the ways they'll grow and form friendships as they encounter more of these black-suited men. Though it doesn't relate to development, I feel the need to commend your descriptions and imagery once again, which made for a captivating story. Amazing job, overall!
Final Notes:
Thanks for choosing me as your reviewer, and I apologize for the wait. Hopefully these few tips and suggestions can help you some, though you don't need much since these couple of chapters are already really great. Feel free to ask if you have any questions, and good luck writing!
