Celebrity nanny {Chris Evans x reader }

22. It's too late for talking

your pov

you wake up in the morning, not wanting to leave your room but you had too. you walk downstairs and eat your breakfast with Lily and Chris, not saying a word to him. "could you take Lily to school today?" Chris asks you. "yes" you say shortly. "thank you" Chris says, clearly trying his best to make things right, but you're still to mad at him. "why don't you take me dad?" Lily asks. "I promised your mom we were gonna talk" he tells Lily which made you even more mad, probably because you're jealous at her. because she was actually more than just a 'casual fuck'. "are you okay?" Lily asks you, clearly noticing your change in behavior. "I'm fine Lils" you tell her.

after your brought Lily to school you go for a walk to clear your mind. why would Chris be so angry with you. was it just because of the fact that it was Alex who you were with or where you actually more to him than casual sex. you still can't wrap your head around it. you get more mad by the second, he's a fucking selfish for thinking it's okay to cheat on his wife with you but the other way around is wrong. maybe he did have the same feelings you had for him, or maybe he just wanted his toys for himself, because that's all you were to him, right?

you go back home where Chris seems to already wait for you. "can we talk" he says hopeful. you just ignore him and go upstairs to your room, acting like he didn't exist. you first needed to figure it all out in your head, before you would talk to him.

you ignored him for the rest of the day, just not saying anything to him. "what's wrong with you?" Lily asks you at diner. "nothing Lils, just eat your greens" you say, getting enjoyed with her asking about it too. "I'm your friend you can tell me" she says innocently. "it's a grown up problem Lils. now eat" you tell her getting irritated. "are you mad at me?" she asks, immediately making you feel guilty. "no of course not, I'm mad at someone else" you tell her, trying your hardest not to look at Chris. "daddy can fix it right. he can punch the person you're mad at right in the face, if you want" she says to you. "I wish he would" you say sarcastically. Lily stops asking after that, taking the hint you don't wanna talk about it any further. later in the evening you bring her to bed. "I hope the person that made you mad is mad at himself too" Lily says making you smile a little. "well I hope he is. goodnight Lils" you say before you leave her room.

you sit down on the couch, still ignoring Chris. "can we talk now?" he asks. you just continue to watch tv. "y/n? even Lily notices now, we need to talk about this" he says. you keep ignoring him. "fucking talk to me dammit!" he now yells turning the tv off. "I said I would talk when I feel like it" you tell him coldly. "I don't care" Chris says irritated. it stays silent as you still look away from him. "why did you go to him?" he asks, trying his hardest not to sound angry or jealous, but you noticed. "what do you care" you say, still not looking at him. "fucking look at me when I'm talking to you!" he now yells. you do as he says and look at him with an angry look. you didn't know why you listen to him, maybe it was just habit. "why the fuck did you go to him, did you fuck him?!" he asks, you've barely seen him this angry, and it was never pointed at you, but now it was. "that's none of your business, I'm just a casual fuck to you" you say, voice still stone cold. "did you fuck him!" he yells at you, demanding an answer. "what if I did!" you now yell back, being done with his bullshit. "why the fuck are you angry at me, while you are the one fucking cheating on your wife. I'm the one that's fucking single I can do whatever the fuck I want!" you yell at him, throwing all your anger out at him. he seems to notice and his face changes.

it's silent for a while, you're still looking at him with an angry expression, ready to yell at him again. but his demeanor shifts entirely and now looks almost guilty and......sad. "is it true you were a virgin and that I..." he asks softly, like he doesn't want to believe it. "does it fucking matter Chris!" you ask him angry. "of course it fucking matters y/n" he says now angry again, but not yelling. "you know what Chris, get you fucking shit together. and leave me the fuck out of your mess" you say before you go to your room, leaving him.

you punch the wall hard, when you're in your room, you're so mad at him. but maybe even more mad at yourself. why did you need to go to Alex yesterday, why did you need to do those things with him. god you're so fucking stupid.

Chris pov

she storms upstairs, her words still echoing in your mind. she was right, she was single and could fuck whoever she wanted. and you were the married man that was cheating on your wife with her. she is so fucking right, you don't have and relationship with her, you have no right being angry at her. maybe you feel more for her than you're willing to admit to yourself. you just don't want to be hurt. you know she's only gonna stay for a year or so, she is planning on going back to Europe. you can't let yourself fall for her, yet it seems like it's already too late for that.

as you go upstairs you need to stop yourself from going to her room. all you wanted was to tell her that she was more than just sex, but maybe you couldn't handle that truth just yet. so you walk to your room laying down in bed. your sheets still smelled like her from the other night. it was the first time you 2 had slept together, like you let her stay the night to cuddle and it was the best most peaceful sleep you've had in probably years. you just felt so comfortable with her by your side. it made you sad thinking about her leaving. it makes you anxious thinking about not having her with you anymore. who are you gonna tell about your day. who is gonna ask you how you're doing, expecting an honest answer and who you feel conferrable enough with to answer honestly. who is gonna kiss you like her. who's gonna make you feel like you matter. who's gonna make you feel alive. fuck......you definitely have feelings for her. no you might be........falling in love with her.

your pov

you can't sleep being woken up by a nightmare you can't shake. your mind wonders to Chris. how are you gonna life without him. you don't have a lot of friends, and you don't have any friends your comfortable enough with to tell them about these things. he was the first person you told about your parents. he was the first person you allowed yourself to be honest with. he's your first, in more than just sex. life without him would suck. who is gonna comfort you when you're scared or anxious. who are you gonna talk to. who is gonna kiss you like he does. who is gonna make love to you like he means it. who is gonna make you feel like you matter. who is gonna make you feel like he does, like you're home and....save. fuck......you're definitely falling in love with him.