To Live Through memories - Seraph of The End

2: Apocalypse

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"Ding-Ding-Dong" The bell signals off, and Milayna subconsciously puts her books into her bag, and walks to the entrance of the school to go to her locker. She puts her school shoes into the small locker and gets her outside shoes, walking off into the cold outside air.

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Milayna slowly treks out of the school front doors, passing by the dead looking cherry blossom trees. The cold of the winter already in the air. Kids walking past Milayna, or behind her, walking closer to their friends making little Milayna feel slightly out of place. 

After leaving the school gates a wave of heat rushes through her, from her stomach, to her feet and then her head. After the quick heat wave, nausea goes up through her esophagus; making her anxious. She slowed her speed, abruptly, looking around and behind herself. Students walk past her, ignoring her, and continuing their conversation as if she is not even there.

The voices fill Milayna's head, overwhelming her, as if yelling in her ear. She subconsciously makes her way through the crowd slowly, passing by the parents with their kids, picking them up from school. Normally Milayna would feel a tightness in her chest, but due to the panic state she is in right now, she passes by them unknowingly.

These symptoms occasionally happen whenever something bad was or is happening. Like when would go through the city to get home and feel anxious, an alarm to a shop would go off and it would be a thief. Or she would feel it after getting home and turn the news on to see a shooting that took or was taking place at the moment. Right now, it is the worst it has ever been. She tries numbing her senses, her hearing, anything and everything, but to no avail. 

Thoughts swirl around her head as she continues walking the streets, alone. Repeatedly, things like, "When is it going to happen? " "Where is it going to happen? " "What is going to happen? "

"What could happen? "

Milayna ends up walking herself to a neighborhood park where kids her age, younger, and/or older, are playing since schools are all getting out around this time. She sits on a bench next to a lamp post and an old tree, placing her school bag beside her. Young toddlers running around in the grass and on the side walk in front of Milayna.

"How bad is it? "

"Who is it hurting? Is involved? "

"Why does it hurt? "

'My head hurts... It hurts...'

'Stop.   Stop.    Go away... Go away...      Five more seconds...'

Milayna begins hyperventilating, wrapping her arms around herself, and holding below her elbows on her sides, tight. Her legs come closer together as she also hunches over slightly.

Taking in a shallow breath, she counts, mumbling each number:

"5..."

"4..."

"3..."

"2..."

"1..."

Each time she said each number she would take in shallow breaths. Only after one did she exhale, shakily. The hold on her sides loosen as she relaxes her body. Nausea almost gone, headache no longer there, and breathing slowing down.