Fighting For Us

43. Feel

We stood here with him holding me for a while. My head felt exhausted after the fifteen minute conversation with Sammie. It felt like we hardly scratched the surface, but she didn't have more time than that this morning. I knew things with her weren't just going to go back to normal. It wouldn't be that easy, but we both were determined to get this figured out.

As I sat here eating my breakfast at the cute little dining table, I found myself zoning out, lost in thought. I couldn't stop thinking about the conversation I just had with Sammie, and how our lunch would go if this was how things went this morning.

"Ev?"

Dylan's voice caught my attention. I looked at him for a couple seconds and then looked back down at my plate. I hated seeing that look of concern on his face. I hated worrying him. I also wanted our happy moments back. Though our time together here had been clouded at times with drama from the outside world, the moments that we had just the two of us were magical. I wanted those back desperately. I wanted to stay in those blissful moments forever.

Sammie's call had taken that blissful feeling away this morning, and I knew my mood would end up dragging him down too. Which just made me feel worse. I wanted to shake this feeling. Wanted to be able to smile and mean it. I knew he'd want to hear about the conversation with her. I knew he'd give his opinion and try to help me feel better about it all. He was the amazing, supportive man I loved. He'd do anything he could to make me happy.

I was back in my head again, and I could feel his eyes on me the entire time. The second my plate was empty, it disappeared from in front of me as he took both our dishes back to the kitchen. I stood but couldn't bring my feet to move. My fingers played with the hem of my shirt. I knew he'd be back for me, so I waited. Sure enough he was back in front of me, taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom.

I went to climb into the bed after we stopped beside it, but his hands were on my hips, pulling me back off the bed. He made sure I was steady on my feet before he stripped out of his shorts. I stood here and waited. He walked over and opened the blinds on the two windows furthest from the bed, leaving the three closer ones down still. It gave us enough light so that we didn't need to turn on the bedroom lights, but it wasn't too bright to completely illuminate the room.

I took my phone out of my pocket, and turned my alarm on for 12:15 p.m., giving me enough time to get ready for when Sammie came to get me just after getting out at 12:30 p.m. for lunch. It gave Dylan and I just over an hour together. I saw that I had messages waiting for me, but I chose not to open them yet. My head just wasn't in it., too fogged to give my family and friends the answers they needed.

After putting my phone on the nightstand, I felt his body press up against my back. His hands sliding around from my hips to my stomach, pulling me back to him. An overwhelming sense of being home washed over me, and I melted into his hold. My head went back to rest against him, and his cheek pressed to my temple.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. I could smell his amazing scent. I could hear his breathing, slow and steady. I could feel his body and warmth against me. Focusing on my senses like this helped start to bring me out of the fog in my head. He squeezed me tighter as he felt my body relax even more into him. I felt his lips press against my temple and then my shoulder. I lifted my hands above my head, felt him take a deep breath, then his hands were moving from my stomach to the hem of my t-shirt. It was off of me before I could take another full deep breath.

He stepped away from me and I felt a chill wash over me at the absence of his body near me. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to warm up. With my eyes still closed, I couldn't see where in the room he was, but I heard him. I heard him take in a quick breath when he saw me. I heard the bed creaking slightly as it adjusted to his weight. I felt his warm breath on me as he got to the edge of the bed in front of me. I felt his hands gently yet firmly grabbing onto my arms and guiding me the rest of the way to the bed. He kept a hand on me as he got under the covers. I could feel the bed shaking as he adjusted and laid down.