it has been about a week since shays "party" And I'm currently sitting on my bathroom floor crying. I miss my bestfriend. so.. basically.
— 3rd person
*TRIGGER WARNING* mention of suicide and other topics which may be triggering. Pls skip if you find this topic triggering.
(It doesn't go into detail but it says something about suicide)
when Vivian was 10 she met a girl at summer camp, they lived close to eachother and soon they became bestfriends. Emily was Vivian's favorite person, her bestfriend ever. they would take long walks in the morning and talk about life and other shit. they both loved movies and shows and they're favorite ever was scooby doo, and they loved to watch episodes of dance moms. It was their thing. but now, Viv can't watch an episode of either without sobbing and falling into a depressive episode. Vivian loved Emily. like a sister, like a bestfriend, she was her everything. Until one day it was all gone, in the flash of a second..
September 21st 2021 at 2:45 in the morning.. Emily killed herself. just like that. No warning or nothing. And Vivian felt.. lost. and she felt angry, and sad. but most of all she felt empty, she felt nothing at time but others she would blow up in a rage and cry. she hated the fact it was her bestfriend that died and not her.
—
I pulled myself of the ground and grabbed my ringing phone. It was a call from a group chat. I wiped my tears and waking into my room before answering the call.
I saw Tristan, mason and maddy. On ft and then I saw me in the corner. my eyes were red and slightly swollen. "hey- uh, Viv?" mason asked and I smiled "mhm" And they all looked at me. "you okay?" mason asked and I felt tears ready to pore down my face any second now. "yeah, just tired. Imma take a nap." I said before ending the call and falling asleep.
—
when I woke up I saw a post on instagram. It was the cast of the black phone, I liked it and decided to post a YouTube video. well more like make one to post. so I put on sweat pants and a crop top. I felt okay with my outfit. so I took a few pictures and smiled. I set up my camera and decided to do a q and a. So I posted a reel on instagram of a q and a. I waited a few minutes before I looked back at my phone and saw like over 100 questions. I clicked record and said. "hey everyone. Today I will be doing a q and a." I clicked on a question and read it aloud. "do you have any upcoming projects, like movies or a song?" I smiled and said "no new movies yet, maybe a song soon, I'm writing one right now." I clicked on a new question and saw. "How is roman?" roman is my boyfriend. "roman is fine, we are hanging out soon. but we are still going strong" I said smiling. after about a few more minutes of answering questions, my mom knocked on my door, "Are you hungry." My mom said and I said "no, I'll eat later." and she shut my door. "Sorry guys lol" I said and then I answered about 15 more questions. The last one kinda threw me off I didn't read it aloud but it said. "roman is a cheater" I- I know he wouldn't do that to me. he isn't like that. so I said "anyways guys, I'm gonna go but have a great day!!" I blew a kiss at my camera and stopped filming. I edited the video and put it up to post. while I waited I watched a movie and ate a sandwich. I got a call from roman. It was 2am. wth. I answered and the person said. "who is this?" It was a girls voice. "I'm Vivian Roman's gf." I said and then the girl laughed. "oh hunny, he's been my bf for 2 months." I heard her and roman laughing as I started to cry. so roman is a cheater. I hung up and stared crying so hard. I stayed up all night thinking what I did wrong. how could I fuck up this bad to make him want other girls. was I really that stupid and ugly.
the next day I decided to post on instagram.
