Plot: lesbian, depression and more...
Warning: anorexic, self harm & Autism
⚠ Fewer dedication advised⚠
Baggy hoodie and shorts. I know I wear it every day. But I change shirts and shorts. I walked to school just get beaten up. Went home get yelled at. Everywhere I went. I was freak. A outcast to this hell whole. I freeze I choke up. But in a heart beat I would jump in front of a stranger to save their skin. Even though they turn around and back stab me. I know I'll never be normal. Never be anything else but a punching bag. But, I rather be freak than a human. After all. They only care about making others suffer for thier on enjoyment. I rather be some kind of autistic bitch than those monsters. Fake smiles, fake sympathy, their do anything get thier money at the end of the day. They just love acting. For what? I wonder what would of happened if I did ran away as a kid? If I did pull that trigger? But here I am still kicking. I was scared of death as a kid. Yet I still took a liking to that blade. I loved skipping meals. Now look at me. I only survive off of one meal. But if I'm in front of someone. I eat like a king. I got better at my handy work. Look at my legs if you don't believe me.
After you came in my life. I didn't know what being your self was. What joy was. You taught me so much. Without even trying. I learned emotions that I never thought I could learn. But at the end of the day. I failed you. I dragged that knife across my skin. Watching the river flowing through. How the blood dripped off my leg in the tub. How my blade felt lighter. I started to eat two meals days. I couldn't handle three. But I was trying to. I was trying so much. I saw the time. I cleaned the wound. Banding it up. Cleaning the tub. But as I left I saw your eyes. Full of worry. You knew. You knew always what to say. But today. I got my old box out. One I forgot I even had. Tears were on verge of rolling out of yours eyes. "Your bleeding. Let me help." I didn't think the blood would flow that fast. I guessed I didn't wrapped it tight enough. You saw the wound. As you were treating it. All you mange to do was stare. Look in your eyes were enough to make me break. As you finish you dragged me to bed. Wrapping your arms around. Telling me tales. The next day I saw you throwing the box in the fire. Not once did you blame. But instead made sure I wouldn't do it again. I slowly stopped wearing that hoodie. As you dragged me in the shower. You traced my scars. Telling me tales. Tales of the warriors who feared what tomorrow bring. Yet now you told me the tale. Of the warrior who won the fight.
