Average

I want to be loved

What do people see first when they see you?
Do they see your hands? Your feet? Your clothes? Your face?
The can't see your personality.
They can't see your emotions, or your inner thoughts.
They definitely don't care in the moment.
I'm that very moment they judge you off of your appearance. But what happens after that?
What happens when that's all they continue to know you for, and you don't move past that stage.
You get used for just that, how you look. They don't dive deeper into who you are as a person nor do they care.
You just get used.
Ever since I lost weight I've been getting more attention that I'm not used to. People tend to not care about my personality, but more about how I look on instagram, and at parties.
When I speak my words are heard but not obtained.
I feel used, for my looks.
I have gained confidence, but have not obtained it.
I have not been able to learn my worth and value, however I have gained extra set of eyes telling me I look beautiful, and they love my style.
I want to be loved.
I want to experience love under the moonlight, staring into each others eyes and actually caring what the other has to say.
I want to feel loved.
Not kissing me under Big Dipper then leaving me on delivered for four days when I talk about my day.
I want to love myself. Be able to go out, be happy without an influence and confidently walk but someone who I want to be mine without having my friends push me to do so.
I don't want my waves to be shy, I want them to be bold and with force, so my presence is know and feared.
I want to be able to walk with power and pride without having to hold my head down.
I want to enjoy being looked at.
Fuck. I just want to be loved