(Discontinued!!)The sweetest baby to ever exist (but he's from hell)

Step two: bonding

"Where did you find him?" Phil asks hesitantly, he's not sure he wants the answer.

Wilbur smiles up at him, "In the box."

"...And where was the box?"

"In the river," Techno mutters as he eyes the baby critically.

"You found him... in the river?"

"Yep," Wilbur chirps. "He is your new son."

"Ah, well, Wil, you see that's not actually how this works-"

"Our new baby brother," Wilbur continues. "He's so cute. He's so cute isn't he? And he has little horns."

Phil warily glances down at the baby, "Did... did he come with a note or something at least?"

"Oh! Yeah," Wilbur sticks out his tongue in thought as he digs his hands through his pocket, "Here!"

Phil takes the note gingerly and begins to read.

Oh hell fucking not.

"...Mate, I think we should uh, return him."

Wilbur's face falls, "To the river?" He gasps.

"Uh no, we could drop him off at the orphanage, or something?"

Techno's face brightens, "Yes, let's do that. Now."

Wilbur lets out a scream, startling his twin and father, who stare at him with wide eyes.

"We are not putting him back! He's ours now! We gotta keep him!" The boy insists.

Phil sweats. Shit. "Yeah, well, I just don't think I'm cut out to deal with uh," He glances down at the baby who stares up at him, big blue eyes curiously examining him. "That," He settles on.

"You can," Wilbur insists, "You're our dad and you look after us just fine."

Phil thinks that is under debate, especially after his two sons came home with a fucking demon. He must have gone wrong somewhere in his parenting.

"Mate-"

" One week, dad," Wilbur clasps his hands together, "One week and if you still don't like him, we can put him back in the river."

Phil would rather do one day, but he sighs, "One week, mate, one bloody week."

Techno sighs in defeat.

______

The piece of shit has bitten Phil over twenty times in the last twelve hours.

"Come down, you little shit," Phil reaches up with mitten covered hands towards the ceiling. Where the baby is hanging off the fucking light bulb.

Wilbur is giggling beside him, "Look he's so smart, and his little wings are flapping, that's so cute," He gushes.

Phil's eyebrow twitches.

"Yeah, sure, cute," He mutters, glaring up at the baby who simply looks down at him, tail whipping from side to side. "Come down, before you break the light."

The baby looks down at the bulb he's wrapped around and then looks back over at Phil before grinning.

Phil's eyes widen, "No don't you fuckin-"

______

They sit in darkness around the dinner table, candle lights littered around the kitchen.