(Discontinued!!)The sweetest baby to ever exist (but he's from hell)

Step four: domestic family time

"Why won't he fucking eat anything?!" Phil screams to the gods above.

The kitchen is a fucking mess.

Tommy sits amidst it all in the highchair, head tilting as he stares at him with those stupid doe eyes. Playing innocent.

He sighs, dragging a hand through his bedraggled head a bit more roughly than necessary, "Okay," He splays out his hands in a placating manner, a passive aggressive smile making its way onto his face.

"How about we try this again, hmm?" He questions lightly, trying to keep the hysteria out of his voice as he grabs the bowl of pasta, hand shaking as he raises the plastic fork towards the child.

Tommy stares at him silently as he moves towards him.

"C'mon, Tommy," He coos reluctantly, "How about we try just one spoonful, hmm? Just one," He suggests, edging on begging as the fork nears the child.

Tommy continues to stare, mouth sealed tight, tail coiled tightly.

"Here comes the choo choo train," He tries, nudging the fork against the baby's mouth.

Tommy opens his mouth, small fangs shining.

Phil almost breathes a sigh of relief, "There we-"

He lets out a scream of pure agony, as fire burns through the fucking mitten gloves and melts the bloodly plastic fork and bowl.

With gritted teeth, Phil sets the melted bowl down beside the other five.

Tommy grins at him, flames licking at his tongue as he giggles.

______

"Is this flavour popular with the kids?" Phil asks desperately at the checkout as he raises an apple and mango purée mix.

The cashier looks up and smiles, "I think so, my daughter loves it."

Phil sighs, "Okay, I bloody hope so, I don't know how much longer I can do this."

"Trouble with the baby?"

She has no idea. Phil smiles politely, "Mmm," He nods, "He won't eat anything."

"Ah, my eldest son had a phase like that. He threw his food everywhere. It was terrible."

Yeah, well at least he isn't an arsonist, Linda.

______

"Dad, Tommy doesn't like that," Wilbur tells him unhelpfully from across the table as he watches his father try for the seventh time to feed the fucking demon child.

Phil's eyebrow twitches, "Oh really? And what does he like then?"

Wilbur just smiles as he takes the spoon from the man's hand.

"Toms," The boy hums and Tommy turns to him, eyeing him silently, "Hey baby," He grins, "You're the best brother ever yeah?"

"That's a lie," Techno grumbles from beside Phil.

Tommy's eyes light up and his cheeks turn rosy as he starts to giggle.

"Yes you are," Wilbur giggles with him, "Okay, here comes the nuke," He coos as he soars the spoon in the air before dipping it into the baby's mouth. "Boom," He mimics an explosion.

Phil watches them in silence before turning to share a look with Techno.

_______

So, we should um, probably get Tommy his own bed," Phil sighs as he realises this baby is never fucking leaving.

"Oh he doesn't sleep," Wilbur chirps as he plays peek-a-boo with the toddler.

"What."

"It's true," Techno shudders, "He watches us all night," He whispers with haunted eyes, flicking to Tommy before darting back.

Phil, Phil honestly has nothing to say to that.

"So, no bed then?" Phil shrugs because what else is he supposed to fucking do at this point.

______

Techno has been stuck with bathing duty. Techno thinks that his dad is a coward and wants to kill his only sane son.

"Dad, I can't touch him," He had hissed, "He's going to eat me. He doesn't need baths anyway, he just smells like dirt. That's fine. Orphans smell like dirt."

"Yeah, but mate," His dad had smiled, "Tommy is not an orphan anymore, kinda, unless we find a way to get rid of him. So you may as well bond."

"Why can't we wait till Wilbur gets back from Niki's?" He had pleaded, futilely.

"Because Tommy is burning the curtains and I need a break," His dad's smile has widened on the edge of hysteria, "So please just dump him in the water. Who knows? Maybe water is like some fucking kryptonite to him and he'll just dissolve."

So that is why Techno is standing in the bathroom, holding a naked baby as far as possible away from him.

"Okay, you are going in the water," He warns the child, just in case.

Tommy stares at him in silence.

"I am lowering you into the water," He continues to describe as he slowly lowers the baby.

Techno kinda hopes he dissolves into demon baby goop.

Tommy does not dissolve into demon baby goop.

Instead, he lets out a piercing scream and deflects all of the water out of the tub, and onto Techno.

Techno gingerly brushes a dripping strand of his hair out his eyes as he stares at the toddler standing in the tub, completely dry.

"I hate you," He tells him.

_______

Phil glances up from he's wiping butternut squash and pumpkin purée from the kitchen window to stare at his son, who stands in the doorway, dripping from head to toe.

Techno glares at him.

Tommy floats beside him naked, spiky wings fluttering as he hovers with a grin.

"Went well I see," Phil hums just to be a dick, because well, he's been burnt over thirty times trying to feed the fucking kid. Someone else other than him has to suffer.

Techno throws a plastic cup at his head.

                             ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hello! Blue write a book for once in theyre god damn life. I hope your having a good day/ afternoon/night/morning!

937 words