A Tale Of Love (On Hold)

CHAOS OF MINDS

RETEKA RAJPUT

"Sorry.... I will... Father stop....." I cried out in agony as my father... Correction birth giver planted another kick to my four year old form's abdomen. Just a little more and I can feel my bones break. "Who told you to speak you disgrace ?" He said chocking me.

I open my eyes as the sweat flown down my body like river streams. I still remember that dark night like back of my hand. The reason of that torture I have to endure at age of four because I killed my twin brother. We were in our mother's womb but she was not strong enough to support both of us so she and my brother lost the battle to death leaving me too burn in this eternal hell called world. I know it's just another pathetic excuse to torture me. None of my half sisters killed their brothers or their mothers yet they had faced worest than me. But none of those monsters did permanent damage to them like me. I traced my pharynx. The place from where voice is supposed to originate.

That night he damage it to such extent without killing me that I still have a lot of trouble speaking properly without waves of pain coursing through my entire throat and lungs. I choose not to speak to escape the pain. The pain is the reminder for me to tell what I had survived and this bone breaking training of Devgiri is a child's play infront of it. I only manage to sleep for a hour per day atmost before waking up due to another nightmare of the countless tortureous nights. The sleep is a commodity I can't afford. I soundlessly left my room in the barracks and no one caught me. I walked in the darkened corridors. I had given a choice to live in a palace or manor or courtyard but I refused.

I meant to be here. Under the unrestrained sky and toiling earth. This is where I feel like home. In midst of fires and weaponry surrounded by war and destruction. Isn't it strange that I love their macabre, the chaoes it cause. I loved the look of terror as I saw in my tormentor's eyes as they were dragged away to their eternal doom. They can be congratulated on repaying all their deeds on earth itself rather than hell. I want that position where everyone fears me but I am not made for ruling. That's not me. I am like a unrestrained fire burning who ever comes in my way. I want a way to proclaim my own glory. Maharaj Ayudhik had shown me the way today. The messages are as clear as the heat in morning dessert and cold in dessert nights.

I will not get anything by whinning about the past. I must use the cracks from past to break myself further and make something entirely new. Something unbreakable. Like the beautiful staff and spear in my hands. I moved it in my hands like it's a extension of myself. I practiced till the day broke over the hill ranges laying after Sabarmati. The sweat flowing down my naked arms as I was bearly out of breath. Finally I had found a place and purpose in my life. My way to eternal glory. To prove the world I am not just a pawn I am more than that. I am no key to a lock but I am the damned reinforced door itself.

SUMRAJ BHANUSARA

My mind went blank as I heard Maharaj's words. How can I forget this easily. I am dealing with the same person who even Yurani Alekhya don't dare to make a fool of. He is the one who survived years in wilderness, living among bandits and outcasts. Each day must have been a battle to survive. It must have strongified him to no end. He taught to Yurani Alekhya to some extend. The look in his eyes when he tore through the bodies of enemies in battle of Sher Gahti and how he tortured Virendra in midst of all of us. That was the first warning how worest he can get. Truth to be said I am freaked out from inside. His eyes changed their colour from brown to orange-yellowish.

Is that truth or just a sick mirage the possibilities are difficult. But his sickening smile as he threatened my family like it's nothing to him doesn't seat well with me. Dadi ji had warned both me and father that we should not mess with royals family matter they change their sides faster than a bat but when Maharaj called out favours we had no choice but to follow. I don't know what that favour was about but it surely made father instantly break into cold sweat. I had seen how he tortured the Nevarkar's heir when he poisoned the claws of the tigers. My body shuddered at that sight. No amount of any thing can erase thay sight from my mind. I can't help but feel that Maharaj Arun had definitely set us up to our deaths or eternal doom.