Face Down

I'm OK

Daddy, don't you understand the damage you have done?

To you it's just a memory, but for me it still lives on,

Bruises fade, father, but the pain remains the same,

And I still remember how you kept me so, so afraid

I stared at her incredulously as I studied her beaten face. She'd taken more of a beating than I had prior to my arrival, that much was obvious with the once again split lip and stitches that ran through deep gashes aligning her cheek, underneath her right eye, nose and forehead. He got her good and the thought made me feel sick. I wasn't sure how she would have been planning on covering this one up if I hadn't been there last night but my guess was that she would have just dropped off the radar until she was recovered or at least well enough to hide it.

Her apology fell on deaf ears as I took small, delayed steps closer to her bed. My heart stopped when she realised that I was walking closer to her bed and jumped in her bed. I made my girlfriend flinch. I actually made my own girlfriend cower away from me and that was not something that I wanted to ever happen again. I wanted to hold her so tightly and chase all of her demons away but knowing what I knew, I knew that it wouldn't be possible for me to do that alone. She was strong as hell for what she had been dealing with and the many breakdowns that I had witnessed on her part were nothing compared to what was to come. She was fragile and weak and she only got weaker as time went by.

"Please don't hate me, Lex, I promise that I never meant for you to get hurt... I just... I didn't know what to do, he was hurting me so bad and I just wanted help." She began to explain but I shook my head softly as I reached her bed and cautiously reached out to lightly graze my fingertips over the three inch gash on her forehead. She winced slightly and I retracted my hand, replacing it with my lips in the softest kiss that I could muster.

I felt her body relax at my gesture and she moved over slightly, wordlessly asking me to join her on the bed. It wasn't an invitation that I could ever refuse even if I had wanted to but when I climbed in to the bed, for the first time since we met, she didn't cling to me or make any attempt at physical contact, she simply rolled onto her side and leaned on the arm that wasn't bandaged. I copied her actions and allowed my eyes to scan her mangled face.

She was still beautiful.

She looked so small in her hospital bed and I couldn't help but cry for everything that had happened in the past twenty four hours. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, pull her in to me and never let go because then she would always be safe. I wanted to scream at her for not telling me sooner. I wanted to apologise for being too dense to realise what had been going on. I wanted to kiss her wounds better. I wanted to do anything and everything that I could to make the situation better but in reality I knew that the only thing that would heal what had been happening to her for God knows how long would be time; a hell of a lot of time.

"I love you, princess," I whispered as I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I know that you have a lot of questions and I will answer everything that you ask me but please... for now can you just hold me?" She sounded as small as she looked; she seemed nervous and on edge as if she thought that he was going to burst through the door any minute.

Who was I to deny my girlfriend the love and affection that she deserved? I snaked my arm around her waist and pulled her fragile body in to me, careful not to apply too much pressure for fear of there being bruises that I hadn't yet seen. There more than likely was.

I sighed contentedly despite everything when I felt her wrap her arms around me too and get as close to me as she possibly could without being on top of me. Her breathing was deep and relaxed and I could only imagine the relief that she probably felt knowing that the abuse she had been enduring was finally over. She didn't have to suffer in silence anymore.

"I never wanted you to get hurt, Lex," She whispered as my eyes began to droop. We had been lying there in silence for a good while but the lack of clock in the room rendered me unsure of how long exactly we had been there. I sighed at her words; only she could have the life beaten out of her and apologise for my minimalistic injuries which were honestly the last thing that I cared about.

"Baby girl, I have a few stitches in the back of my neck and some bruises. It's nothing; it was worth it to make sure that you were safe." I responded quietly and once more I pressed my lips to her head in an attempt to reassure her.

It took a while but I eventually felt her breathing even out and her body fall limp. I couldn't see outside but it felt late and I could guess that it probably was dark outside, the lights in the ward had been dimmed significantly so I could deduce from that that it was at least late evening.

Mitchie didn't get to sleep for long before everything started to happen. My parents found us in her bed and took seats next to Mitchie's bed which a nurse brought in for them. They offered their condolences to Mitchie who was groggy having been woken up by them but she knew that it was necessary as did I. It wasn't long after my parents' arrival that a tall woman in a business suit came to join us; my parents made it quite clear that they knew her.

"Hi, Mitchie, I'm Jessica, I'm your social worker. How are you feeling?" The woman asked as Mitchie finally detached herself from my embrace and sat up in her bed. I made a move to remove myself from the bed but she was quick to grab my hand and keep me in place. I didn't mind staying with her, I was actually more than happy to do just that but I didn't want to be in the way and I didn't want to intrude on a conversation that was clearly meant for Mitchie and the adults surrounding her.

"I'm okay," She whispered but I knew that she was lying. She had to be in a tremendous amount of physical pain which I knew from experience was nothing compared to the state of her mentality. "What happens now?" She asked calmly. She was still yet to speak about what had happened to her and I wondered how long she was going to try and avoid it for. We were still completely in the dark about what had happened, all we knew was that Eddie and Connie had been arrested and were probably being questioned but aside from that we were completely unaware of anything.

"You'll be here for a few days; you sustained some pretty bad injuries and the doctors are still waiting on your test results to ensure that everything is clear and it'll be safe for you to leave," The woman explained with a sympathetic look directed at my girlfriend. I was trying to focus on the woman that was talking but I wanted too desperately to tell her to go away, to leave Mitchie alone to get a decent night of sleep before everything started to happen. But of course I couldn't do that; it wasn't my place to do that. "When you're released you're going to be placed in the foster care system. Mr and Mrs Russo here have said that they will take you in as their own, we're getting the relevant paperwork filled and filed so that when you're allowed out of here you can go home with them." I felt her body relax significantly at that, as did mine. She would be safe. She would be with me and my family and nobody would touch her again.

"What about my mom and Eddie?" Mitchie asked, grimacing as his name fell from her lips. I didn't know what her mother's part in all of it was but my gut told me that she wasn't oblivious to what had been happening.

"The police will be here tomorrow to take a statement from you, and you too, Alex," The woman directed the end of her statement to me and I nodded in acknowledgement. "It's crucial that you tell them everything, Mitchie, I know that it's difficult to talk about and I know that you'll find it hard but you will have as much time and support as you need, it's just something that needs to be done. They can't get away with what they've done to you." This woman, as kind as I'm sure she was, was speaking to Mitchie as if she was some sort of idiot. As if she didn't know how serious the situation was and what had happened. She wasn't a five year old kid that didn't know what had happened to her; she knew and she knew what she had to do.

Mitchie simply nodded in response. She knew.

It was going to be a long, tiring and gruelling process. Mitchie would never forget about what had happened to her and neither would I.

Reliving it was going to be challenging for both of us.