The Soldier and The Spy: Jay Halstead- Episode 4

Chapter 5

If he was being honest nothing actually changed. It wasn't like she turned around a different person, or even in a different mood, wasn't anything discernible he could point to that would prove what he was feeling. It was just a feeling. But lately when it came to Tess that was all he had.

I'm not the same girl you knew.

"Do you think I should loop Voight in on this?"

Jay pulled himself out of his head to watch as she walked back over to the counter, looking the margarita pitchers over before she shrugged and poured herself the same concoction she'd given Kevin. When she caught him looking she raised a brow and flicked her eyes to his glass which he passed over without a word, his heart giving a sharp tug when she took his empty glass for herself and gave him her full one.

Always looking out for him.

He had to make sure he did the same for her. And he should probably start by answering her question.

He took a minute to think about it, about what would be best not just for Tess but for the whole unit, because in the long run that would be what was best for her, but all he came up with was that it didn't matter. People were going to have opinions and shit was going to happen but he trusted that whatever decisions she made would be the best ones.

"I don't think you need to. If you want to then you can, but I don't think there's anything you should do. You're not beholden to him. Or me."

He kind of slipped that last part in there but he had the feeling it'd been the right thing to say. Or at least something that needed to be said. Again there wasn't anything discernible that changed, maybe she straightened a little, ran her eyes over him a bit more critically but that was it. Whatever was going on in that beautiful mind of hers, he couldn't tell. He wouldn't be able to.

Not unless she let him.

I'm not the same girl you knew.

"I caught something. My eyes did." She said with a small shrug, her face soft but impassive as she leant against the island, one hand absentmindedly swirling the liquid in her glass. "I have a friend, Ling, she's a journalist in Hong Kong. Was. Yesterday the police there put out a warrant for her arrest, about thirty seconds before a couple teams tried to enact it."

"Is she okay?"

Who was he kidding?

If Tess was paying close enough attention that she noticed something happening halfway around the world then you could bet she'd known it was coming and had a plan in place, something she confirmed a second later with a short nod.

"I got her out in time. We knew something like this was a possibility." She shrugged again, taking a sip of her drink before she went back to swirling it, the movement so smooth and practised Jay stored the motion as one to look out for, a possible new tell. "I set her up in Toronto- there's actually a decent community of political dissidents there, so she'll fit right in." She huffed, a small, sardonic smile on her lips as she took another sip but his stomach went tight, churning with discomfort he fought to keep down.

She was going to go to Toronto.

Not for long, probably only a couple days, a week at most.

But she was still going.

"I'm going to fly in tomorrow, help her get settled in her new apartment, maybe send out some resumes. I'll only be gone a few days."

Her tone became obviously gentler and though he couldn't see or hear any guilt in it Jay had the feeling it was there, just as strong as his own was for making her feel it in the first place. He hadn't actually expected she would never leave for another op again, he wouldn't love her the way he did if she was the kind of woman who could throw her responsibilities off so easily it just- it had caught him off guard.