The Diaries of a Misplaced Main Character

CHAPTER 1: Oh, Crap

The lights flickered in my office. Again.

I looked around the small, allotted space set aside for me by my savior of a twin brother. When we'd received the grant to work on the world's sole quantum-computer that most technological industries were still trying — and failing — to patent, we'd both had to up and move. The current location of the computer (and the laboratory which houses it) is deadass a secret though, so I can't really tell you where I am right now. We both had to get a ton of government clearance just to be on site.

Important men with their important toys.

Lucky for me, my fraternal sibling wasn't a total dick. I let him know from the beginning that I'd rather work on our thesis since I actually hate science. Also, he can't write for shit. The only reason I'd even taken the same classes as him in university was so that we didn't have to do college alone, which suited him just fine.

At best, I was mediocre with this stuff and we both knew it. We also just didn't care. In this field, all you had to do was make one relevant discovery before you could barter away your findings for a few million dollars, minimum. After that, I would be free to do pretty much anything I wanted, considering my twin was a genius and he had all of this in the bag. The question wasn't so much if he would make that crucial, life-changing discovery for mankind, but when.

So, for now... he was the scientist. I was the pitcher.

That is to say, when we applied for the dual-grant, it was wholly unsurprising to him when I asked for my own quarters in this fancy-ass building so I could sort through the research as it came in.

Also, so I could game. But, again, this was an unspoken agreement between the both of us. The other scientists didn't ask too many questions about my consistent absences from the lab.

While they tinkered away on their cute, little toy, I would do the coffee-runs and would lavish each team with all of the 5-hour energy shots they could take without their heart actually failing. Their gratitude, as well as my talent for sorting out all of the bullshit they'd write down, meant I had an exorbitant amount of free time.

The rhetoric for the thesis in question didn't take much effort at all — human civilization had been trying to establish long-term communication with interdimensional life-forms for ages. They'd succeeded in the latter of course, but relationships are hard when one party has the technological equivalent of a Nokia cellphone. Cue in the astronomically expensive computer, and we got ourselves a date.

A frown tugged at my lips when the overhead lights flickered once more.

Power-outages at the lab weren't completely uncommon, but they were totally and whole-heartedly unwelcome. I didn't need to ever save my file when tapping away on my favorite MMORPG, but that didn't mean I loved the interruptions.

I was about to go back to the game in question, but reached for the phone at my side instead.

Hey, I texted my brother. Cut that shit out. I've been working on this boss forever and if I happen to die mid-battle because you kept on flirting with the aliens...

Fortunately, I didn't have to wait long for a text to come back.

It's all right to say it, Noa. You suck at that game. There's no need to be embarrassed.

Yeah, you know what's embarrassing? Your research. When are we gonna get to cash in on your brilliance, man?

When you come down here and help me, you lazy shit-head.

I quirked a smile at that. We both know I'd just get in your way. Now, stop messing with the fuse and tell your aliens to lower their sweet, beep-boop voices.