Always Hurting (One Direction Story)

Confessions

HAYYY. HERE'S CHAPTER TWELVE ;)

I had Kiss You stuck in my head while I wrote this hehe

 Louis's POV

 It was nearly morning and I had been awake all night, worrying about Harry. He still hadn't woken up. 

I stared at him and his stitches and wondered how somebody so beautiful could try to take their own life.

Then I stood up and angrily started to pace back and forth. 

"Why did I ever meet Brandon?" I said to no one in particular. "Why did he rape me, why did Harry see it, why did Harry try to kill himself and could die at any minute? I hate my fucking life!"

I punched the wall as hard as I could. Then I fell to my knees sobbing. I stayed that way for at least fifteen minutes, until I heard a soft voice say my name.

"Louis?"

I looked up to see Harry. He was awake, sitting up in bed and looking at me with concern.

"Harry!" I ran over to him and gave him a huge hug. "You're awake! I was so worried! I love you so much. How could you do this to yourself?"

I looked into his gorgeous eyes. I wanted to kiss him so badly but I knew he was still angry with me.

"Why did you lie to me about Jordan?" he asked weakly. "I seen you guys kissing."

It broke my heart because that was the first thing to come to Harry's mind after he woke up. It must have been what pushed him over the edge to try to kill himself. "He started kissing me, but after that I told him I wanted to be just friends. He didn't seem to understand it the first time that I told him."

Harry looked down sadly. "Why are you here?"

"Because I love you. I was devastated when I found out what you did. I wanted to be here when you woke up."

"No. You don't love me. You cheated on me twice." Then he said something that broke my heart. "I wish I would have died."

I knew what I needed to do to make him feel better. It wasn't going to be easy, and I knew it was risky, but I couldn't let him remain sad for one more second.

"I need to tell you something," I began. "I should have told you a lot sooner."

"Alright..." Harry said uneasily.

"When you walked in on me and Brandon..." I hesitated as a tear fell down my cheek. "He was raping me."

Harry's eyes got wide. "Really?"

I nodded sadly. "I tried to get away from him but I couldn't. He told me if I tell anyone he would kill us and the other boys, so I kept it a secret." More tears fell down my cheeks.

Harry hugged me tightly. "I'm so sorry, Lou! That must have been awful. I should have known you wouldn't cheat on me. I feel so stupid now."

"It's fine pumpkin. I mean, who would have guessed he was raping me? He's done some terrible things to me but I never thought he'd do something that bad." I started feeling nervous about having told Harry. If Brandon finds out, I'm dead. 

Harry started crying too. "I love you boo bear. I'm sorry for breaking up with you and telling you I hate you. I didn't mean that."

"In that case... wanna be my boyfriend again?" I smiled as I wiped away my tears.

"I would love that more than anything," he said as he took my hand.

"On one condition though," I told him. "You never hurt yourself ever again."