The Force Goes Back to Sleep

Five minutes ago, in a galaxy that is honestly not all that far away...

The words 'Episode 10: The Force Goes Back to Sleep' suddenly appeared out of nowhere in the middle of outer space, and massive yellow letters began scrolling upwards. The letters said:

"Luke Skywalk... wait a minute, someone is calling my phone. What? We can't say the character's name? He's copyrighted by Disney? But I thought this was fair use due to being parody? What do you mean it's not funny enough to be considered parody? We're already in the opening scroll, I can't just roll it back and start over. You want me to just write whatever? Okay! Okay! I'll figure something out...

So... what's the deal with airline food?"

"Did you see all of those letters flying through space, Happy Pie?" John asked as he stood near his tiny floating robot, which seemed to be made of some pink translucid material and had a single eye. The two were looking up into the sky while on the surface of a desert planet. "Why were there a bunch of letters just randomly scrolling in the middle of outer space? Speaking of which, those letters must have been gigantic for us to be able to see them from here. Who the hell just decided to waste a bunch of money with big letters?"

Happy Pie transformed from his regular sphere shape into a more humanoid form and shrugged while making confused beeping noises. The two suddenly heard a large explosion, as they turned to see a massive spaceship flying over them while firing energy cannons.

"Oh yeah! We're under attack! I forgot!" John declared and ran into a nearby building. Happy Pie morphed into the shape of a tiny bird and flew after him. The two ran as fast as they could and left through the backdoor, only to find themselves face to face with a large group of soldiers, all pointing their blasters straight at them. John screamed in surprise, while Happy Pie morphed into an exclamation mark.

The two closed their eyes as the soldiers opened fire. They opened their eyes to see literally all of the blasts had missed, leaving large burn marks in the area around the two without harming them in any way.

"Stormtrapper aim." John commented. Happy Pie turned into a head and nodded. The two ran back into the building. "We're completely surrounded! I'll need you to take this!"

John reached for his jacket and pulled out a microchip. Happy Pie morphed into a question mark.

"It's a macguffin. The readers don't care what it is." John explained. Satisfied with the answer, Happy Pie turned back into his sphere form, and John placed the microchip inside of him. The microchip dissolved and disappeared, as all of the information in it was downloaded into Happy Pie's memory. "Now go! Run!"

Happy Pie beeped as he looked at John.

"I'm not gonna die. I already signed a contract to be in the sequel." John explained. Happy Pie beeped once again, morphed into a small rocket, and flew out through a window.

John nodded and left the building through the front door, only for several more Stormtrappers to aim their blasts right at him. One of them pulled the trigger, only for his blast to completely miss John, hit a wall, and then bounce back and hit another Stormtrapper on the chest. He felt to the ground as a thick red liquid began coming out of the wound.

"This ruined my uniform!" The Stormtrapper complained. "It broke my lucky ketchup bottle too!"

"I told you not to bring this stupid bottle on missions!" Another Stormtrapper declared as he approached his friend on the ground. The wounded trapper touched the other one's helmet with his ketchup-stained glove, leaving a large ketchup mark on his helmet. "Why do you bring ketchup everywhere you go?"