MDCF

22

Siana's heart fluttered at his gentle but firm words. Her eyes prickled with tears. She had always been so insecure and so negative about herself. She always thought she was in no way worthy of him.

"You will get tired of me, Alan, and you will regret it later," she said, "Look at you, and look at me. We are leagues apart. You will find many fine ladies, better than me."

"Sia, I want no one else but you," said Alan, gently, "Nobody could be what you are to me."

His kind words hit her heart. She burst into tears. She lowered her face to her hands. "Am I really good enough for you?"

"Of course!" said Alan, "I was rather afraid that I wasn't worthy of you."

"I... you...," Siana murmured. No matter what he said, she never thought she could be good enough for him. Siana opened her mouth to reply then closed it and sobbed. Alan lowered his head to hers.

"Sia, or is it that you don't like me?" Alan asked, "Is that why you keep making up reasons to refuse me?"

"No, it's not that," sniffled Sia. She lifted her face to look at him. Even Alan's eyes had welled up. "Alan, that's not it."

His face so close to her made her heart beat fast, but Siana didn't have a clue of what she could say at that moment. "Alan, you are too close," she mumbled, stupidly.

"Don't change the subject," he said, smirking. Was he trying to make her flustered because he knew she couldn't think of anything else when he was this close to her? She blushed and felt anxiety peak in her stomach. Alan lowered his head and touched his forehead to hers.

"Sia, tell me honestly," he said softly, "If you don't like me, and if I have been forcing you all along. I will leave and never bother you, again. You only have to say it."

"Well, I certainly don't hate you," she said, blushing. "I do like you."

"Really?" she asked, brightening.

"Yeah," said Siana.

"So, will you marry me?" he asked.

The conversation had returned to the beginning. The question of the proposal. Siana didn't feel like rejecting him this time. Maybe she could have a future with him. Maybe she didn't have to feel like she didn't deserve this, deserved him.

"Alan, I clearly gave you a chance," she said, "You can't regret having married me later."

"Is that a 'yes', then?" he said, smiling.

"Yes," she said and burst into tears. "I have given you a chance. I was ready to leave it all behind and go. You can't blame me later if you regret it."

"I swear I will never do that," he said, "I love you."

Siana was wiping her tears away with her sleeves. Alan stopped her and wiped her tears away from her face. He hugged her. "Why are you crying?" he asked.

"Because of you, you idiot," she sobbed, "You are so relentless. You accept me the way I am."

He held her close to him. One hand nestling her to his chest, the other stroking her hair. Siana calmed down a little after a while.

"Are you alright?" asked Alan after a few moments.

"Yeah," she said.

Siana never thought she could feel so many things at once. Her heart had stopped hammering and her eyes were swollen. But it feels good to let everything out, she thought. She felt Alan's arms around her, sturdy and sure, but gentle. She felt safe. Just a few days ago, I had nowhere to go. It felt like everything had just cleared overnight. Their relationship had grown into something dependable and reassuring. Being in his arms made her happy.