MDCF

40

But unlike her, Alan turned serious. "Sorry, Sia. I shouldn't have worried you unnecessarily. I should have thought about this."

"Don't be sorry!" said Siana, "I didn't think about all of it either."

"I should have tried harder," said Alan, "I should have known better. I am so sorry for not thinking about it and how it might affect you."

"Alan," said Siana, "It's alright. But right now, I want to know your opinion. How do you feel about having children?"

"I am fine with it, as long as you are okay with it," said Alan.

Siana grumbled a little at his answer. "You don't like kids?" she asked.

"It's not that," said Alan, caressing her back. "If we do have a child, I will love and cherish it. But you are my priority. I would always be concerned about you more. But will you be alright?"

"Me?" asked Siana. "Why wouldn't I be alright?"

"I heard pregnant women go through tremendous pain and stress," said Alan, "I also heard it is hard for them to deal with the changes happening in their bodies. I don't want to put you through that, Sia."

Siana was moved with his consideration for her. It was almost funny that just recently she was agonizing over whether Alan would like children. She was so touched that his concerns were for her. He only wanted her to be happy, safe and comfortable.

"I will be alright, Alan," said Siana softly. "It's something I want. Being an only child would be very lonely, so I want many children."

Siana reminisced about her childhood. She was always a lonely child. She had no siblings to confide in. She had always wished for someone to be there for her. Her father had been busy earning for them to keep the household going. She only had her governess who was a very uptight and strict lady.

"Alright," said Alan, smiling kindly, "Let's have lots of children. But not at the expense of your health. You are precious to me."

"Of course," said Siana. "I wouldn't insist on children if it means I would die!"

"I mean it, though," said Alan, "If there ever comes a time where I might have to choose between mother and child, I will always choose you. Unconditionally."

"Oh, don't be so dramatic," said Siana, laughing, "I am not going to sacrifice myself."

Siana wanted to have babies that looked like Alan. His face, his features. Siana was grateful that he cared about her so much. She put her arms around his waist and leaned onto his chest. He stroked her back. Siana loved this moment and she realized that Yulia was right. She was truly lucky to have married him. Being with him made her happy. She snuggled close to him and pulled him closer. Alan flinched.

"Hold on, Sia," he said.

Siana leaned back a little and looked up at him with concern. Something hard brushed against her thigh and a low m*an escaped his lips. Siana belatedly realized what had happened.

"Alan...," she muttered. He avoided her gaze.

At the hardness on her thigh, Alan looked away in shame. His reaction surprised her. Since when has he been in this state? Siana thought, what excited him? Alan had only been excited a few times when they spent the night together. This might be my chance to try the scene from that book, thought Siana.

Siana grabbed his shirt sleeves. "Do you want to try something else today?" she whispered in his ears.

"Like what?" he asked.

"Something that you always do for me," said Siana, "Let me do it for you today."

Alan looked confused. "Sia, what are you talking about?" he asked.