Pyrophobia

Arsonphobia -16-

Chapter Sixteen

What am I meant to do? Everyone is meant for something; some people are cooks, teachers, and mentors. I can look around my school at all the student and guess what everyone would be good at, what they could become. When I look in the mirror, however, I can’t see any of that. I wouldn’t be a good teacher, I can’t cook for the life of me, and I wouldn’t be able to work in a hospital, what else is there?

Considering, it’s almost time to graduate I think I should figure something out. There’s about a week left of school, how did time fly by so fast? I remember the beach party like it was yesterday, it was so long ago.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” Bentley said, as he was coming up to the empty lunch table I had been sitting at. I looked over at him, he’s changed to. He is definitely taller and stronger. Maybe it’s all the open gym I heard he has been attending after school.

“What am I going to do after I graduate? I mean, I know Toni and Courtney are going to the same school, but I’ll be left here, on my own…” I said, trailing off sadly. Bentley scoffed, and I instantly thought back to the day I told him I wanted to be with him.

It was a week after I talked to the counselor, I had been quiet to people, but I have opened up greatly with my group of friends. They seemed to notice the change in me as well, they invited me places more often, they were considerate and compassionate I guess.

I saw him; he was walking down the hall like he was lost. Maybe he was, I never asked him about it, I only had one thing on my mind. I stood up straight, held my head up high, and walked down the hall towards him like I owned the place. I had no clue where I got this overwhelming sense of confidence, but I sure did use it to my advantage. He noticed me walking towards him and he instantly had a shocked look on his face.

“Wha-” He started to say but I interrupted him with something else, something I was afraid to say, I was terrified actually. My heart was beating loud in my ears, my hands were slightly shaking, but I came off as confident.

“I want to be with you.” I let those words sink in, I kept telling myself I wanted them to sink in for him, but really in all honesty I wanted them to sink in to me. I wanted to be able to finally say that out loud, and to say it to him. It was crazy, what was I doing?

“Let me rephrase that; I need to be with you. I need to be with you because you have changed me. Not the way I had ever expected someone to do. You kept me protected whenever I needed someone to do so, you made me open up because you didn’t give me another option. Whenever I was being stubborn you would yell at me and put me in my place. You opened my eyes to a whole new thing.” I confessed, taking a moment to breathe and let the words float through our minds.

“I was stuck in the past, never wanting to come out of that nightmare. You’re just like me! I never wanted to admit that, but we both have a story. A story we don’t like to share. You made me realize I was being too strong, too ignorant, and way too stubborn.” He laughed a little bit at that, making me smile.

“And when you laugh, it gives me hope that there is something better out there for me. Something I can look forward to. I found it, I look forward to go to school and see you, I realize now that I was only being stubborn to get a reaction out of you, because I liked the way you put me in my place, I like the way you helped me through my worst. It’s like I was testing you unknowingly.”

“Did I pass?” I heard him whisper to me worriedly. I couldn’t help but burst out laughing, actually laughing. The real first out loud laugh, abs hurting, and eyes watering kind of laugh. I nodded my head vigorously, trying to get my point across.

“Of course you passed, do you forgive me?” I asked, worriedly, all of the sudden feeling nauseous of him pushing me away like I had done to him so many times before. He shook his head no, my heart instantly stopped beating.

“There’s nothing to forgive you for, I understand.” He grabbed my shoulder and roughly brought me in for a hug, I felt safe almost instantly, and content. It was the best day of my life, so far…

“You don’t have anyone?” He asked, bringing my back to the present. I laughed lightly, joking around with him.

“Who would I have that’s worth my time?” I asked jokingly. He brought his hand up to his heart and held it, faking pain.

“You wound me so much Melon.” He said, smiling. I smiled even bigger at the name he called me.

“Of course I have you.” I whispered, looking him in the eyes. “You always will have me, forever.” He said, giving me a quick kiss on the forehead before standing up.

“I got to get to class before Ms. Hampshire has my head again for being late, keep thinking about what you want to do Melon, see you later!” He called behind him as he ran off. I watched him run out of the lunch room doors and through the outside hallways towards his next class. Chuckling slightly, i grabbed my phone out and decided to call Ms. Pennell.

“Hello dear.” She answered in a sweet voice after the third ring. I paused, afraid to admit what I had wanted to do ever since that one day.

“Hi Ms. Pennell, can I ask you something?” I said curiously, she mumbled a quick ‘of course’ and I continued to gather my thoughts. I grabbed my books of the lunch table and headed towards the counseling office as I held my phone to my ear. As I walked, a couple people said hello, and waved to me as I made my way down the hall. Ever since that assembly, everyone has been nice to me, I almost felt wanted, welcome, and unafraid to walk around the school anymore.

“I was just wondering, how would someone like me become a motivational speaker for high schools like you are?” I said, finally feeling a weight lift off my chest. I heard he gasp and then sigh after a couple of minutes.

“I’m so glad that you asked, why don’t you come over after school some time and we can discuss things?” I instantly agreed to her and then we said our goodbyes. As soon as I walked into the counselor’s office the desk lady picked up the phone, getting ready to call for my counselor.

“No, you don’t need to call him in; I just wanted to drop something off…” I said, handing her some papers. She slowly hung up the phone and grabbed the papers from my hand.

“Thank you.” I said, slowly turning around and getting ready to leave for the day.

As I walked outside of the school I turned around one last time, taking everything in. The old brick wall was an ugly red color, due to the weather damage and oldness. The grass was a little yellow as summer had arrived and dried everything out. You would have never guessed my whole life had changed inside this place. Of course, it changed for the better, but I would never forget the events that took place in the last year of high school. It’s time for my future now, and I was ready for it to come at me in full force.