𝐆𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓 | namjin

= 7 =

namjoon lay awake in the early hours of the morning, staring at the ceiling and trying to at least get a few hours of sleep wedged into the day before jin and him headed out.

he heard papers shuffling in the far corner of his house, assuming jin was reading. though he didn't dare disturb him.

namjoon had made his best attempt to cover up the shock from jin admitting his homosexuality to him. it wasn't negative or positive...he was in a state of surreal neutrality.

however, this did make namjoon examine his morals.

namjoon's mother was strongly religious, though never chided others for differentiating beliefs. she believed in unity and acceptance, even though her religion dubiously disagreed.
namjoon finally sat up, staring across the room as jin's red figure shimmered in the steaks of early morning sunlight.

he was reading, flipping through old journals of namjoon's father's, looking between them and scrawlings of other scholars.

"morning." namjoon sighed, yawning. he had no urge to sleep anymore.
jin's head shot up. "why are you awake? you just got back from the church nearly an hour ago."

"i can't sleep," namjoon said, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. "too much on my mind."
"my apologies," jin said, looking down. "i understand if you don't want to help me anymore."

"what? no. of course i'll still help you. i just...it's surprising to me." namjoon said, leaning back on his hands.
"what?" jin questioned.
"just how someone of your, er, class, could be-"
"oh." jin said coldly. "you're surprised i'm not dirty and lustful, as how the church describes us."

"no, that's not it, i'm not surprised." namjoon clarified. "i'm relieved."
jin cocked an eyebrow, clearly confused.
"i always knew the church was wrong about that. i've just never met a queer person to disprove them." namjoon smiled softly.

"you look almost happy the church is wrong." jin smiled back.
"the church would call me an abomination. a son of the devil." namjoon shrugged. "my father was a prelate. he found out about my...gift after my mother died and i spoke to her. he ridiculed me. told me to never speak of it, and said if god wasn't watching he'd send me back to hell where i belonged. even claimed my mother had been possessed by a demon when i was conceived."

jin's eyes widened. "what happened to him?" he asked softly.

"hell if i know. disappeared. took all our money and fled. i came about fifteen miles north from my hometown after, and-" namjoon waved his arms around him. "here i am."

"wow." jin said, looking down at the journals he had been reading, brushing his fingers over the writing.

"i think..." namjoon bent down, picking one of them up and flipping it open. "something about these journals led me here. i followed the stars, as he would have done."
"do you think you'll find him?" jin asked.
namjoon hummed. "i don't know. i'm not sure if i want to."

the two sat in silence for a couple minutes, until the air grew too heavy for namjoon to bear and he grabbed his boots, pulling them on. "come on. let's go to the library archives. see if we can find your lover."

the morning air was biting and cold, the first winds of autumn were starting to roll through the small town, making namjoon shiver in his jacket. the orange sunlight streaked through jin however, making his pale red apparition glow with a soft hue like a honeycomb.

namjoon stared through him. he had never realized how...beautiful jin was.

"what?" jin asked, making namjoon snap out of his daze.
"sorry." namjoon said quickly, turning back to the road as he walked with just an edge of speed.

the library was in a small wooden building that appeared much larger from the inside than out.
tall shelves slotted themselves with hundreds of leather covered books, stretching for what seemed miles. the woman sorting books near the front shot her head up at the doors opening, looking startled at namjoon's presence.

"oh, hello, sir-" she curtsied. "pardon me, i don't usually see many early-risers in here."
"my apologies, miss, i can come back later." namjoon said quickly, turning to leave.

"no, no!" she said quickly, as she pushed her small glasses up the bridge of her nose. "please stay. i'm sorry, my name is nayeon. let me know if i can help you with anything."
"don't apologize, miss nayeon," namjoon smiled, hearing jin let out a little huff next to him. "i'm looking for the library citizen records and obituaries?"

"ah, yes!" she fished around in the pockets of her apron, pulling out a thin golden key. "here you are. the room is the door in the back. let me know if you need anything else."

namjoon smiled cheekily as he walked to the back room, unlocking it and pushing the door open to the basement. a lantern sat next to the door, which namjoon picked up and descended the squeaky wooden stairs.

setting the eerie light down, namjoon pulled out a box, dust clouds floating into the air as he coughed. inside the box were three stacks of documents and records, each about the size of three encyclopedias.
namjoon grumbled, pulling out the middle one and flipping through it.

"i forget how old this town is," he mumbled. "how many people have found home here."
jin's red film shimmered in the lantern light, as he crouched down next to namjoon to look in the box, taking out the third stack.

the two sorted through the papers in silence, until namjoon got tired of jin's heavy, annoyed sighs.

"jin, what's wrong?" namjoon asked.
"nothing." jin snapped.
"what?" namjoon pressed, leaning forward to look in jin's eyes.
"i don't feel like talking about it." jin said simply, returning to flipping through the papers.

namjoon huffed, looking back down at the papers. "you know, i'm going out of my and waking up early to help you, at the very least you could give me a piece of your mind. is that really so hard for you?"
jin didn't respond.

"i don't even ask that much, you trash my house, you reluctantly clean it up, you've scribbled all over my books, and yet-" namjoon looked up, finally realizing why jin wasn't responding.

jin eyes were wide, and his hands trembled as his fingers dug into the piece of parchment he clutched. "namjoon. i fell in love with jung hoseok six months before i died in 1830."
namjoon nodded slowly, slightly confused. "yes, and..?"
jin thrusted the paper into namjoon's hands.

JUNG HOSEOK

born: february the 18th, 1804

"hey! you found it!" namjoon smiled, but jin's sour expression didn't change. jin tapped the paper.
"read it all."

died: august the 29th, 1825

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