Four's Company | Stucky / Marvel Polyamorous LGBT Romance

Chapter 4: Steve

TW: Panic attack and discussion of symptoms of anxiety

Steve was decidedly not having a good week. 

He got home Sunday to a huge amount of edits from his client. None of the individual edits were large, but he always got a prickle of anxiety and a flush of feeling inadequate when he received this many edits back. If that had been it, he could probably deal with that, even with the continuing swirl of thoughts that had started in Charlie's shower. He even might have been able to handle Bucky finding out he was being put on yet another project at work, so he wouldn't be home before dinner the entire next two weeks. The final straw, however, came late Sunday night when they got a text from Sam that he and Rhodey were rushing Lilah to urgent care because she had spiked a high fever, was listless, and too quiet.

Steve fretted around the apartment all night alternating between drinking tea to calm himself and coffee so he could stay awake to hear any news. Bucky joined him for the beginning of the fretting, but Steve eventually shooed him off to bed, telling him at least one of them should get some rest. Steve's schedule was more flexible so he would probably just have a late start the next morning.

Finally, at 4am he got a text that Lilah was okay. She was diagnosed with the flu, given baby Tylenol, and sent home with some other medicines in case she needed them.

She had apparently immediately perked up after an IV of fluids and the baby Tylenol, and while she seemed to be on the upswing, Sam and Rhodey were not. Steve spent Monday alternating between video calling with them, updating Bucky, and attempting to get work done, none of which alleviated his growing anxiety.

He could feel a panic attack coming on, so he spent all Monday night throwing himself into his work and even went for a run at midnight to work off some steam. None of it helped.

By Tuesday afternoon his redesigns were almost completed, but he was a mess. A panic attack was absolutely coming and he desperately wanted to call Bucky and ask him to come home so he wouldn't be alone when it came, but he knew how busy Bucky was at work.

Steve was about to break down and just call him when he heard a knock at the door. He was so excited, thinking it was Bucky, he threw the door open without even checking the peep hole.

To his absolute shock it wasn't Bucky standing there, but Nicky.

"Hi Steve! So good to see you!" he said, smiling up at Steve with a messenger bag slung over his shoulder. He was wearing work clothes, a simple blue button down tucked into khaki dress pants, a silver chain peeking out from under his shirt collar.

"Bucky invited me over for dinner. He said he'd bring home Indian food for us, but then he said he was running late and I was already on my way, so he told me to just wait here and-...uh... Okay, by the look on your face I guess he didn't tell you any of this...?"

Steve was in a bit of a state of shock so he shook himself out of it to think of when the last time he checked his phone was... Oh right. It was three hours ago when he stuffed it under the couch cushion so he wouldn't call Bucky and beg him to come home. Lilah was on the mend and Steve no longer felt like he had to monitor his phone for Sam's updates, so he had felt safe abandoning his phone for the time being.

Fat lot of good that had done, now he was anxious and embarrassed. He felt like he was made of all raw edges and sensitive nerves. Nicky seemed to be able to read a little bit of this on Steve's face because his shoulders drooped and his messenger bag slid down to the crook of his elbow.

"So, uh- I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to just show up here without you knowing, but... I don't have your number and I thought Bucky would have... Sorry! I'll go wait at a coffee shop until Bucky gets home if that's okay?"