Guitar Strings

4

"I don't want you to go." Lina said before flopping down on my bed and pouting. I was leaving for Japan, then immediately leaving for a US tour for the next four months.

"I know, Li" I said from my spot on the floor. I was throwing the last few things in my suitcase before we left the next morning. She looked down at her fingers in her lap and got quiet.

"What's wrong, baby?" I asked moving over to her. She wouldn't look up at me.

"What if you forget about me?" She said before a couple tears spilled over onto her cheeks. I reached up and brushed them away with my thumb before getting up on my knees and being eye level with her.

"How could I forget about you?" It sounded crazy to me. I was in love with her after just three months, and even though I was scared to death of how I felt, I couldn't ever manage to forget about her even if I wanted to. I cupped her face in my hands and forced her to look up at me.

"I'm going to call you every chance I get. I don't care how tired I am after a show. Even if it's just to tell you good night or good morning. We can face time, we can text, we can call. Maybe I can figure out a way for you to come visit for a show or two. Ok?"

She nodded her head slowly and sighed. "Do you have everything?"

"Yep. All done." I said looked back at my open suitcase. "Kinda wish I could just shove you in there with everything else." I laughed.

"Me too." She said finally smiling.

"You're going to stay here tonight, right?" I loved having someone in my bed that wanted to cuddle with me as much as I did them. We were taking things slow, but the amount of nights we spent in each others beds was more then I could count.

"Yeah." She mumbled.

***

A short time later she crawled into my bed next to me and snuggled her head into my chest. I wrapped my arms around her like I had done so many nights before and she looked up at me.

"What wrong, Li?" I asked looking at her and brushing a bit of hair out of her face. I could tell she wasn't sure how to feel. She had understood that this was going happen. That my job forced me to travel away for periods of time, but that didn't make it any easier. My heart hurt looking down at her.

"Kiss me" She said in a small voice that I almost didn't hear. She put a hand up to my face and pulled me in toward her.

The kiss was different then it usually was. It was longing and I could feel all of her emotions coming to the surface. The longer we kissed the more I didn't want to stop. My fingers slowly crept under the shirt she wore and she pulled mine over my head. We'd made out before, but I could tell where this was going. This was different.

"Are you sure?" I asked quietly in the dark room. She nodded her head and pulled me back into another kiss. Time stopped the further we went, it felt like the whole world was on pause as our clothes slowly started piling up on the floor next to my bed. The only time I'd ever done this was when I was slightly drunk at a going away party back home before I left for Korea, but somehow I knew exactly what I was doing and so did she. It just felt like it was right, the way our bodies moved together and how it felt when she kissed me in a way that seemed like she needed me to survive. When we were done she laid her head back down on my chest and snuggled up to me as I pulled the thick duvet over us as she fell asleep.

***

The next morning our bodies were still tangled up in bedsheets and each other. I could hear the rest of the dorm starting to wake up. I tightened my arm around her waist and pulled her closer to me.

"mmm" She mumbled as she rolled over and opened her eyes to look at me. "Hi" She whispered with sleep still heavy in her eyes.

"Hi" I laughed smiling at her. She brushed a piece on my hair back and kissed my nose before she reached for her phone to see what time it was. She wrinkled her nose and fell back onto the bed. "I don't want you to leave." She said again.

"I know, just remember we're going to be fine. I won't be gone forever. Just a few months, and we're going to talk every single chance we get ok?" I said before Chan knocked on the door.

"C'mon Felix. Time to get up. We got a long drive to the airport! We're leaving in 15 minutes!"

Lina pouted and looked at me. "I wish I could come to airport and say goodbye."

"It'll be too crazy. The media makes it a circus. The staff runs us through with security and shove us on a plane. It's better here." I said kissing her one last time before getting out of bed and pulling on clothes. She threw on my shirt from last night as sat cross-legged on my bed while I ran around my room gathering every last thing I could possibly need.

When it was all said and done, we stood in the living room of my dorm as everyone was bringing their suitcases to the door. The car was downstairs and it was the final moment we'd both been dreading.

"Just don't forget me, ok?" She asked as I wrapped my arms around her and put my face in her neck. She still smelled just like pineapple and jasmine. My stomach turned a bit as I realized I wasn't going to get to smell that for the next four months.

I lifted my head and whispered in her ear, so the other members milling around wouldn't hear. I wanted to tell her and only her without the intrusion of everyone else. "I love you".

She pulled me in tighter to her and whispered back "I love you too"

I pulled away from her and smiled widely as Jisung was yelling from the hallway that we were going to be late. We followed everyone downstairs to the car and staff started loading all of our luggage into the van. We said our final goodbyes and I watched her get smaller and smaller as the van started driving away. This was going to be the hardest four months of my life.