Guitar Strings

11

I stopped functioning when I went into that room. My legs wouldn't move, my mouth wouldn't move, my entire brain momentarily stopped working. The one person I'd wanted so badly the last couple weeks was standing in front of me, and I had no idea what to say.

Suddenly I realized why Chan had been weird all day. This was why he forced me out to eat with him, and why he was texting someone in the car. I knew it wasn't Jisung, it was her. How else would she have known we were here?

"Hi" She said quietly standing only a couple feet away from me. I wanted to kiss her, hold her, snuggle her, tell her how sorry I was for everything I said. All the things that I'd wanted to apologize for the last few weeks were making my head spin, it made it hard to think.

"Hi" was all I could manage to get out of my mouth. My palms were starting to sweat and my stomach dropped.

"Can we talk?" She said sitting down on the couch at the other side of the room. I nodded my head slowly and sat down on the other end of the couch. Words were still not wanting to form in my brain so I was relieved when she started talking first.

"I have to tell you something....and just let me tell you before you say anything ok?" She started glancing up at me. I nodded my head and she kept going. "I keep thinking about that night, and I know I started the argument, but I have a reason. My last relationship was...difficult. We fought about everything, all the time. I would wake up every single day prepared for battle, because I knew it would happen. He was a narcissist, and constantly told me I was the reason he was mad, and any mistakes he made were my fault. I was made out to be everything wrong with our relationship. It was incredibly toxic." She took a deep breath but continued talking. "I got so used to always being on the defensive that when you came over that night, I was ready to just fight it out with you. It wasn't fair to you, especially since you've never made me feel the way that he did."

I nodded my head and thought for a moment about what she said. "I didn't mean any of things I said to you. The words just kept coming out my mouth." I looked up at her briefly before I continued. "I never wanted to make you feel like you have to be like that with me. I hate fighting with people, I don't like confrontation, I hate it. The second I left your place that night I knew I screwed up, and I wanted to just run back inside and tell you I was sorry. I guess I just felt like I had to hurt you the same way you hurt me, and I know that wasn't a reasonable way to feel."

She nodded her head as I reached over and took her hand, rubbing small circles into the back of it. "I'm so sorry, Li. I don't think I could ever say that enough. You have no idea how horrible I feel. For all of it. For pushing you away, for letting what Chan said get to me, and avoiding you on the plane, yelling at you. I'm so incredibly sorry."

She finally looked up at me, tears threatening to fall down her face. "I'm sorry too."

We were both an emtional crying mess by the end of it, "Are we ok now? Cause I really, really miss you." She asked.

I nodded my head pulled her towards me finally wrapping my arms around her, putting my cheek against the top of her head. "We're definitely ok." She said as she snuggled close to my side. Everything I had been feeling immediately evaporated from my body just having her this close to me again. She still smelled like pineapple and jasmine, which had definitely become the most comforting scent in the world to me.

"Are you staying here tonight?" I asked while playing with her hair.

"I guess so." She said said quietly.

"Come stay with me. I don't wanna leave you here. Three weeks without was long enough." I said as she pulled her head up and smiled at me and nodded. I smiled back down at her. "I'll help you get your stuff."

I stood up and pulled her up off the couch and towards me. I brought her in close and put my hands on either side of her face before finally kissing her. Tiny fireworks went off in my whole body as she wrapped her arms around my neck and finally pulled away to catch her breath. She put her head on my chest and I wrapped my arms around her waist. "I missed that" She mumbled, I kissed the top of her head.

Finally, I got her back. This was probably the happiest I'd been in months and I honestly wanted to just tell everyone how happy I was.

***

Just as we were starting to pack up Lina's things, Chan knocked on the door. I hated him earlier today for trying to force me into doing anything other then mope around miserable, but right now I was really glad he did. He'd had a plan that worked and Lina and I were able to talk about how we felt. He brought my girl back and I knew I was going to owe him, but I didn't care.

"Are you guys ok now?" He said sticking his head in through the cracked door. He must've been standing outside the door listening in.

"We're ok." I said handing Lina a couple things to throw in her suitcase. A big smile spread across his face as he clapped and did a small victory dance. He looked a little like a dancing monkey with cymbals, but at least it was entertaining to watch.

"I'm gonna go stay with Felix for a few days, but I'll see you at the airport?" She said as she zipped her suitcase and stood up.

"See ya! Get outta my house!" He said pretending to kick us out. Lina laughed and walked out of the room. She went downstairs to talk to Chan's mom about leaving, and thank her for letting her stay.

"Thank you, Chan" I said as she started to go down the stairs. "You have no idea what this means to me." I said as I hugged him.

"I told you I'm here for you. I'd never leave you behind, remember?" He said patting me on the back.

"Best leader" I joked.

"Yeah, yeah. I know." He said smiling. "Do me a favor, Felix" I looked at him. From the look on his face I knew he was going to say something embarrassing. "Use a condom, k?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head "I'm leaving now" I said waving him off and heading out the door as Chan cackled in the background.