Guitar Strings

7

Lina
I arrived in Anaheim a week ago, and Felix had been acting more and more weird the longer I was here. At first he seemed fine, the same guy that I had started dating several months ago, the same man I'd so quickly fallen in love with, but I could tell something was bothering him. He seemed to keep more and more distance between us every day I was here. He would still kiss me in the mornings, fall asleep next to me, and make love to me...until a few days ago. His eyes were different. They were far away and I could always tell he was always in deep thought about something and no matter how many times I tried to get him to talk to me he just pulled away further.

Maybe he didn't really love me. What if he kept thinking about us and started to realize that he didn't feel the way he thought he did. I tried to act normal and not let his distance bother me, but it was even more evident when we got on the plane to fly home.

"I know we're supposed to sit together, but Bin's gonna help me with some lyrics and stuff on the way home, is that ok?" He said looking at me as we boarded the plane.

"For twelve hours?" I said confused.

"If we finish early, I'll come back and sit with you ok?" He said already throwing his carryon down in the seat next to Changbin.

Diappointment flooded through me as I started thinking that he really was just tired of me. I nodded my head and walked three more rows back to my seat and sat down. I could feel my eyes starting to sting, but this wasn't the place to cry, not with all of his groupmates in the seats in front of me.

Everyone got on the plane and took their seats, when I suddenly realized I was alone. I was sitting in the back of this damn plane alone. I slid down in my seat and shoved my air pods into my ears and turned on some music. I closed my eyes and tried to calm my racing heart.

"Why are you all alone?" I heard Minho ask me quietly as he tapped my shoulder. I opened my eyes and pulled the air pod from my ear as he sat down next to me.

"Felix said he had some work to do with Bin." I said quietly looking out the window to my right.

"They're asleep, he said that?" Minho asked quietly.

That was when I suddenly realized the plane had gone dark and quiet. I'd been so into my own head I hadn't even noticed that the sun had set and everyone was passed out.

"It's fine." I said trying to put on a good act so Minho didn't realize how upset I really was.

"I'll go wake him up and have him come back to sit with you." He said starting to stand up. I put my hand on his arm and shook my head.

"It's fine, Minho. Really. Let him sleep, he's probably just as exhausted as the rest of you. I'm fine." I heard how I sounded. It was like I was trying to convince myself that I was ok with what was happening.

"I just don't get why he couldn't do that when we got back. He had to make you sit alone? That's not ok." He said quietly so he didn't wake anyone up.

"It's fine. Believe me I'm fine. I was just gonna go to sleep soon anyway." I tried to smile, but it felt forced. Minho shrugged his shoulders and went back to his seat next to Jeongin.

I'm fine. We're fine. He's just tired. It's fine....

I think I repeated that in my head about a hundred more times in my head before I finally fell asleep.

***
Felix

When we landed and started standing up to leave the plane, Lina walked past me and didn't even say anything. I cursed myself for falling asleep where I did. I really had meant to go back and sit with her, but we'd gotten into a good rhythm with the new song and I had just wanted to keep working on it.