Scarlett Johansson x Daughter One Shots

it's not that easy

age: 17
warnings: eating disorder
requested by: charlithewallflower

Y/N:
I think a lot of people think that the only reason somebody starves them self is to lose weight, and whilst that's true to a degree, for me it more a sense of control. It's an addiction. I feel like I can't live without my eating disorder.

I went through a point of denial. I refused to believe I was sick.

When my mom realised what was happening she confronted me about it and soon got me into therapy. She helped me get better.
It took me a while but eventually I got back to eating three full meals a day and not really having an issue with it.

That was nearly two years ago.

It's come back now.

My mom hasn't noticed, thank god. I don't want her to have to deal with it again, so I'm doing everything I can to be discreet about it.

It's been about a month since it started again and I'm constantly exhausted. I feel irritated all the time. Unhappy. Frustrated. Angry. And more than anything I feel like I'm a disappointment. But I. Just. Can't. Stop.

I feel like I could die at any moment, but I don't want to die. I just want control.

There's a voice in my head screaming at me to stop and to get help, but unfortunately it's not louder than the voice telling me to keep going. It makes me feel like ripping my hair out because I'm constantly fighting with my own mind.

All lot of people don't understand anorexia, because they just think it should be an easy fix.

Just eat.

Trust me, if I could, I would.

Unfortunately it's not that easy.

When my mom called me down for dinner tonight my heart was racing. She had made lasagna which is a really big fear food of mine. Probably near the top of the list. Knowing as well that I'd have to eat it in front of her because she wanted to watch a movie together, which don't get me wrong, I love doing, but not when it involves eating lasagna.

"Hey bubba, help yourself," Mom smiles gently, gesturing over to the dish on top of the stove. "Thanks," I say, grabbing a plate from the cupboard.

I serve up a small amount before grabbing a fork out. I saw my mom out the corner of my eye looking at my plate and then up at me with a frown. "You sure that's all you want?" She questions. "Mhm," I nod, avoiding any eye contact with her. "Okay," She says cautiously.

I took my plate and made my way into the living room. Mom following behind me.

Scarlett:
I've had a feeling for about a week or two that Y/N's eating disorder has come back. The first thing I noticed was when I hugged her a little bit ago that she'd lost some weight, but I tried to not think anything of it because she's a teenager and her weight will always be fluctuating.

I tried to be subtle about it because I didn't want to assume anything because I know that food is a very sensitive topic and I didn't want to trigger her.

Tonight, I wanted to make sure she ate.

After seeing the very small amount of dinner she'd served up for herself, I started to become more concerned. It was the amount I would feed her when she was a toddler.

A few minutes into watching frozen, I noticed that she wasn't even watching the movie. Her eyes were focused on the food that she had not yet taken a bite of.

Her eyes are glassy and her lips have fallen into a frown.

I reached for the remote in front of me and paused the movie before shuffling over next to Y/N to carefully take the plate from her and rest it on the coffee table.

She looked up at me as a few tears fell down her cheeks. "I don't know why it's so hard," She cried. Her body completely falling into mine.

"Oh sweetheart," I sigh, adjusting myself on the couch so that she can't sit between my legs and rest her head on my chest. "How long have you been struggling with this again?" I question softly as I run my fingers through hair. "About a month," She chokes. "I just wish it would go away. I don't want to live like this but it's so hard to eat and I feel so out of control."

"Oh, my love. I'm so sorry," I coo. "It's not going to be like this forever though and I am here with you every step of the way. You are more than your body, and more than that voice in your head that tries to convince you that you're not good enough, because you are more than enough, bubba. You are the most beautiful human being in the universe and you are so loved."

She slightly nods her head against my chest and mumbles a "thank you."

"We'll start small, okay? Take it day by day," I assure her. "Okay," She speaks in a whisper.

"Do I have to eat tonight? I really don't want to," She questions anxious as I wipe her tears. "When did you last eat, bubba?" I ask. A silence fills the air for a few moments. "Y/N? When did you last eat?"
"A few days ago." She speaks so quietly that I almost don't hear her.

I take a deep breath, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Okay. Can you have a few bites of something?" I ask gently. "No, please don't make me," She starts crying again, her tears making me shirt wet. "It doesn't have to be lasagna, honey. What if I cut you up a piece of fruit and I'll eat with you?" I offer.

She doesn't answer for a few minutes as she continues to sob into my chest.

"I'll try," She whispers. "Okay," I smile softly and kiss the top of her head. "Do you want to now or later?" I question. "I'll try now."

The two of us slowly get off the couch and I hold out my hand for Y/N to grab as we make our way into the kitchen.

She ended up eating just over half an apple. It was a struggle and she cried with each bite, but she ate something and I'm so proud of her.

"I love you," She mumbles as she gets into my bed next to me. "I love you too, so much," I smile softly.

___________
A/N: hii :)
how are you?

I'll get the part two of the 'falling' one-shot that I accidentally deleted back up soon ahahah