Scarlett Johansson x Daughter One Shots

you're going to be okay

age: 17
warnings: self harm

Y/N:
It's a way of coping. Hurting myself, that is. Whether I'm doing it because I hate the way I look, act or talk. Or whether it's because I feel like I'm not good enough, and people deserve better than me.

The list is endless...which makes it so incredibly hard to stop.

I've thought about telling my mom. Maybe it would help, having someone to carry me through it. I'm terrified though.

Sometimes I just hope that it will eventually fade. The urge to draw a blade across my wrists.

It hasn't though. In fact, the more I do it the more I want to, despite the overwhelming guilt I feel afterwards.

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Colin is taking Rose and Cosmo to my grandparents today because mom wanted to be able to spend the day with me considering it's been a while since it's been just the two of us.

"Sweetheart, I've ordered Chinese food for lunch, do you want to come downstairs and watch a movie with me?" Mom asks with a gentle tone from behind my bedroom door. "Okay, I'll be down in just a second," I speak, trying to hide the shakiness in my voice after almost being caught.

Very quickly, I throw the blade into the draw of my nightstand and roll down my sleeves before making my way down the the living room.

"Help yourself," Mom smiles, passing me an empty bowl. "Thanks," I smile slightly, filling my bowl with fried rice and honey chicken.

"Would like to pick the movie?" She offers, passing me the remote. I nod, taking it from her and opening up Netflix. "Is The Parent Trap okay?" I question quietly. "Of course."
I turn it on before digging into my food.

I get only a few bites in before I start to feel sick. Unintentionally, my eating habits have changed ever since I started feeling like I was drowning in my own head. I'm too tired to eat properly most days, therefore when I do eat it makes me feel nauseous. However, I know I'm hungry so I try to push past it and finish my meal.

Immediately I'm made to regret it when I feel like I'm about to throw up, so I rush to the nearest bathroom just as the content of my stomach comes back up.

Mom quickly follows after me, holding back my hair and gently rubbing my back. "It's alright bubba, let it all out," she coos, sitting down beside me on the cold bathroom tiles.

When I finally feel like it's all gone, I lean back against my Mom's chest and burst out crying. "Oh my sweet girl," she whispers, wrapping her arms around me and kissing the top of my head. I turn myself onto my side and cling onto her as tightly as I possibly can.

"I'm so tired."

I feel her take a deep breath as she rests her chin on my head. "You wanna tell you mama what's going on? I can see that you're not okay, honey, but I am here for you and whatever it is, I promise you that there is no judgment from me. You're safe," she assures me.

"I want to tell you, but I'm so scared," I choke. I feel her nod, pulling me in closer. "Do you think it would be easier to write it down?" She suggests to which I shrug. "I don't want to move," I mumble. "Okay," she says gently.

"Are you pregnant?" She asks quietly, the hesitation is obvious in her voice. I manage to chuckle slightly before shaking my head.

"Okay. Can you tell me what's going on? I want to help you, baby," she begs. "I'm scared you're going to hate me," I mumble. "Y/N, nothing you do could make me hate you. You could kill someone and I'd hide the body for you," she smiles lightly.

I take a deep, shaky breath as I shuffle slightly in her arms so I'm able to roll up my sleeve, revealing the angry red marks on my forearm.
The gasp that escapes her doesn't go unnoticed, but she quickly apologises and holds my head against her chest.

"I'm so sorry I didn't see this happening, sweetheart. I'm so sorry," she whispers, her voice a little shaky. "It's not your fault," I cry, burying my head in the crook of her neck.  

"How long has this been going on, baby?" She questions, holding tightly onto my hand. "About a month."
"Alright, honey. Can I please have another look? I just want to make sure that nothing's infected, yeah?" She speaks softly.

Again, I hesitantly nod. She sits me up and turns me around to face her, gently pulling up my sleeve again. "Okay, I think they're okay. We'll just have to keep an eye them," she decides. "Now, I need you to be honest with me, have you had any suicidal thoughts?"
I take a moment to think about it before shaking my head. "You promise me?" She asks desperately. "I promise."

"Okay, because I can not bare the thought of losing you, my sweet girl. You mean the world to me and I'm sorry if I don't show you that enough," she admits, tears slipping down her cheeks. "You're going to be okay. Mama's here with you through all of this, yeah? We'll get you in to see a therapist and take it day at a time," she says with a sad, but gentle smile. I nod, slightly returning the smile.

"Do I need to take any scissors or blades away from you?" She questions. "Yes please," I whisper, wiping my tears in my shoulder. "Okay, sweetheart. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me this. I want you to know that I am so proud of you and that you are so incredibly loved by so many people, especially me," she tells me, cupping my cheeks in her hands. "I love you too, mama."

_________
literally started writing this a week ago but have not been bothered to finish until todayyyy

but anyways, this is kinda how I told my mom about my sh but as of today I am 50 days clean!!!!