There is more than one of him

Chapter 12

Itsuki honestly couldn't explain why he was so surprised about the fact that Dazai's behavior and personality switched like that with every person.

His boss had explained it to him and his mother later on as well and on top of that looking at him now, Itsuki could say one thing for sure, among all the other mental and physical issues and scars his brother carried around as if they weighed nothing, his brother was one thing.

A people pleaser.  To say it simply

He played into favors like no one else. He knew exactly what kind of behavior a person likes and that's exactly what he puts on.

It was scary how accurate his actions played into the things Itsuki knew Koharu adored. He was a perfect actor and he knew it.

He was a perfect actor

A perfect actor.

An actor.

Nothing but an actor. An ideal, perfect, excellent Actor.

Like an animated character, formed into the ideals of those who made it.

formed by the ideal of those who watched it.

Not a human an it, created by a pencil and paper and someone who knew what people wanted to see.

An actor who knew how to make people see what they wanted to see.

Making people see what they want to see.

Making people see what they needed to see.

Like a movie, you never know what happens but the movie does.

He was faking in front of everyone, his own colleagues, his own boss, Itsuki's wife and on Itsuki as well.

He had fallen under the mask of Dazai Osamu.

Because Dazai had shown him, what he wanted to see. He had told him what he wanted to hear, what he needed to hear after talking to Fukuzawa.

Dazai had made Itsuki see a bit of Shuji in him.

Pulled out the emotions and words Itsuki had needed to believe he was still in there somewhere.

A bit of the person that was killed the day all of this hell began.

On the day Shuji Tsushima had been kidnapped, Osamu Dazai was born.

Bits and pieces of a person that doesn't exist anymore. That hasn't existed anymore for the past 13 years. A person that doesn't exist anymore.

A person that will never exist again.

A person that was only pretending to exist whenever Itsuki needed them to.

Someone not real.

Someone whose name was written on a one decate old grave on which people cried until this day.

Someone who'se name didn't exist anymore

Someone who no longer had a right to live.

Someone who shared the same body but was utterly different in every other aspect.

Someone who was only supposed to please him.

Someone who was not somwhere in there, not hiding behind a fasade.

He was pretending to be someone who died 13 years ago.

But why?

Why? Why? Why?

And Why had he been so stupid to fall for it.

Itsuki looked up from his cup of tea to observe the conversation between Dazai and Koharu currently evolving around the topic of hair and skin care in winter.

Did Koharu know what he was doing? Maybe. Koharu was not someone who was folled easily on the otherhand neither was he.

He worked with profilers and criminals all day long, both master liars. The profilers even more than the criminals, he was rarely fooled by them.

Yet he had been fooled. Terribly. By his own brother.

Still he didn't know if Koharu didn't know or was simply going along in order to keep Dazai calm.

To not cause a negative reaction.

She was surprised how easily Dazai had found talking to her. Itsuki had seen it on her face.

She had expected a broken shell, because that's what Itsuki had thought Dazai was.

He still thought that, he still believed it. But he knew he shouldn't believe in it so strongly.

His brother hadn't reached out in 13 years despite basically living next door and clearly knowing where they all were.

He had managed to survive 13 years by himself, in the end succeeding in getting a job and making people believe he was just a normal person.

He hadn't even wanted to admit who he was. And even if Fukuzawa said it was because of the mafia still owning Dazai, it didn't seem like Dazai was being owned.

Then again it didn't seem like Dazai was being anything.

He wanted to believe his brother was

He looked at the clock on the wall. They had arrived two hours ago.

Damn he had been lost in his own thoughts for way too long. It was three in the morning by now. He was dead tired, but he wouldn't go to bed unless he knew his brother was asleep. Too big was the fear he might burst into thin air while he was sleeping.

True he was paranoid, he was terrified this might just be a dream.

"So what do you say? I already got everything set up." Koharu asked Dazai

"That would be wonderful, thank you for bothering. Honestly I could have slept on the couch or the floor, there was really no need to go through all that trouble." Was his response.

"Oh, nonsense. It was no trouble at all. I'm glad you're here. I had always wanted to meet you. I'd be happy to continue on this conversation tomorrow. Right now I'm dead tired, I'll show you to your room and where our bathroom is. Everything else will be odne toworrow, is that alright with you?"

"More than that, it is excellent. I'm quite exhausted as well and would love nothing more than to hit my head on the pillow and fall into the endless darkness of sleep. I don't require a lot, so just showing me where I can sleep is more than enough."

"Well come on then." She said and got up. Dazai following behind her.

Itsuki didn't miss the way Koharu's eyes glanced at him as she passed him on her way outside. Neither did he miss the slight grin on Dazai's lips, knowing he had succeded in clowding the mind of yet another person, as he waved him good night.

Then it hit him.

Dazai knew what he had been thinking. Dazai knew Itsuki knew he was manipulating him. Which ment, Dazai had wanted him to come to that exact conclusion.

Dazai wanted him to know he was playing with his mind