From Wiltshire, With Love

Chapter 30

Author's Note:

This chapter has a song! If you've never heard Bad Reputation by The Runaways' you should. It's tons of fun, and I think it fits this chapter, which I hope you'll all enjoy.

It has come to my attention that this chapter should have a trigger warning. It's a non-conventional trigger warning and has more to do with animals. So if you need more detail, check the A/N below.

Feb 1998

Hermione, Ron and Harry stood before a pink floral wall completely covered with hanging decorative plates. The entire room, top to bottom, was covered with porcelain decorative plates. And this wasn't the only room in the house adorned so. Each plate had a kitten or two playing with a ball of yarn, with each other, napping, or twitching their tails back and forth happily. Hundreds of kittens. Thousands of kittens.

They knew Umbridge was a terrible woman, but this was positively sick.

Hermione glanced behind her with a maniacal grin on her face. Umbridge lay on the floor, bound and unconscious. The news of the Order's funding source being gutted created a helpless feeling of despair within her. It was their second major loss after Dolohov. The rest of the Order members were despondent, waiting for the effects of the financial loss to trickle down and start impacting their lives.

But pursuing the locket was a much-needed brightening to the mood of the Golden Trio. It was a shame they couldn't share it with everyone.

Hermione turned back to study the vile display in front of her. She had one hand on her hip, holding her wand. Her other hand absently swung Slytherin's locket around in a circle.

"You know," Harry said, scratching his chin with his wand, "When I said earlier that we should smash all her kitten themed dishes, I thought there would only be a few plates and teacups like in her office at Hogwarts." He surveyed the sheer quantity of decorative plates mounted on the walls before them. "This may take a while."

"I don't have anywhere to be," Hermione replied. "And if I did, I'd clear my schedule."

Ron had a look of pure disgust on his face. "Harry, you've seen You-Know-Who on the back of Quirrell's head, spoken with a piece of You-Know-Who's soul, been bled so that he could be reborn, and even felt him inside of you. And now we're standing here facing this abomination of a room." Ron paused for a moment before turning to him in question. "Which is worse?"

"Are you serious?" Harry asked incredulously. "This house is the evilest thing I've seen in my entire life."

Utterly repulsed, Ron scanned the decorative plate covered walls with parted lips. "I kind of want to look around." He sounded disturbed at his own suggestion.

"I have absolutely no desire to see how toad woman lives." Hermione countered, shoving the locket in her trouser pocket. They would have fun trashing her house, but she didn't want to go rummaging through Umbridge's things.

Gross.

"You're not curious?" Ron goaded her. "Don't you want to see what kind of books she reads?"

Ron certainly knew how to press her buttons. She pursed her lips and turned to see a smug grin on his face, knowing he had already convinced her. "Perhaps I'm a bit curious."

Harry wandered into her kitchen and she heard him opening and closing cupboards. Ron followed him in.

"All kittens," Harry called back to them. "Every single plate, every single bowl, every single cup."

"I think I'm going to vomit," she declared, entering the kitchen to see Harry turning over a bowl in disbelief.

"Oh, come on, Hermione," Ron teased her, randomly opening a drawer. "You're tougher than that. No vomiting on Horcrux hunts."