From Wiltshire, With Love

Chapter 45

Hermione deflected hexes shot at her by the Patil twins when a large whoosh sound made everyone around her jump.

"Lavender for fucks' sake!" she heard Dean call out. "You're going to roast someone!"

Lavender giggled and cast another gigantic fireball into the air. It expanded until it was twelve feet across, making the whoosh sound Hermione heard earlier, and then dissolved into little tendrils of flame, finally disappearing when the fire had nothing to burn.

Pamela Proudfoot and Ignatius Savage barked orders at everyone from across the lawn. Tonks had verified the two Aurors were not the leak, at least, not that the Aurors had been aware of, and neither had been Imperiused. The Order still hadn't figured out who had Imperiused two of their members, including the Secret Keeper for Paddington. Although all possible leaks to the outside were cut off – no one was Polyjuiced, no one was Imperiused any longer, and everyone had been interrogated with Veritaserum – it was unsettling that the leadership still didn't know who made the Secret Keeper give away Paddington's location, or even how it was done.

"Hermione!"

She whirled around to see Remus waving to her from the entrance to Westchester. He had Teddy strapped to his front, snoozing contentedly despite the yelling echoing across the expansive safe house grounds.

Hermione jogged over, wiping the sweat off her brow and wondering if leadership was having an impromptu meeting. She stopped abruptly when she saw the look in his eyes. He was in professor mode.

Remus stroked Teddy's hair for a few moments in thought and then spoke. "Dora said you're still having trouble throwing off the Imperius."

Her shoulders sagged in defeat. She was. There were a few Order members that were still having difficulty throwing it off and to her utter dismay, she was one of them. Even private lessons with Tonks didn't seem to work despite helping everyone else.

"Yes, I don't know why," she explained defensively. "I've read as much as I can and I understand the fundam–"

"Come walk with me." Remus cut her off. "I don't think the problem lies with your ability or understanding of the curse itself. The two or three others still having difficulty, yes. But not you."

She remembered how Harry had only been able to cast the Patronus charm after being instructed by Remus, and coached into finding the proper memory and deconstructing it. Much like she had done with Draco. Maybe there was something else at play that she was missing.

"What do you think it is, then?"

Gazing over at Minerva while she demonstrated advanced Shielding Charms, he stepped off the porch. Hermione followed him as he walked down a path which led to the neighboring sheep fields. Their feet disturbed some of the dirt on the path and little clouds of dust wafted away in their wake.

"Does your responsibility weigh on you?"

Hermione turned to him, squinting from the sun shining behind him. What did that have to do with anything?

"Of course it does."

He stopped walking when they reached the sheep field and faced her, concern reflecting in his dark brown eyes. "Do you feel responsible for their deaths?"

She blinked, and swallowed. Remus was staring at her as if he already knew the answer to that question. Immediately, she felt the burning of tears.

"I know it's silly," she admitted, and sniffed, preventing her tears from falling. "I'm not the only one making decisions. It's somewhat arrogant to blame myself. And I know I couldn't have done anything about Ollivander."