Love in A Warzone

35: Medicine...

For years, I've noticed it wasn't Flippy acting strange or Flipqy but that medicine . I thought they would get over it after a while, until I found out how much Flippy still has nightmares about it even though it's been months and I'm sure it is going to be fine. I mean, the pills were just for anxiety attacks or when someone was having PTSD. Flipqy hates taking that medicine and refuses to eat any of those pills, but he does like sleeping on his stomach, so he always ends up in his bed with the covers pulled to his waist and pillows at his back. This was normal. Flippy was fine, right? NoI think this was why Flippy was getting acting like himself lately; that medicine was making him suffer all the way from his chest to his toes, and sometimes I feel horrible for putting these pills into our fridge and not asking him how he got them, but I didn't want to know. He doesn't deserve it. But what should we do now? Flipqy isn't talking to me anymore. Maybe it's time to take these pills away.
"What did you find, Flippy?" I asked while putting his pills down on his counter. His head was still resting on my lap as his eyes closed and he breathed softly, a sign that he wasn't sleeping. "Flippy?" I said it again, more firmly. My hands ran through his hair gently as I waited patiently for his response. When he finally opened his eyes and looked up at me, I felt butterflies in my tummy. He was so adorable, especially when he tried so hard. "I don't know," he answered quietly as he leaned his face against my chest once more. Did something happen today? Did you have another nightmare? " I tried asking, but he just shook his head. "Flippy," I said in a warning tone. He gave me a pitiful look and buried his head between my breasts. It broke my heart a little to see the sad boy in front of me, but that's because I love seeing his smile. The smile he puts on when he knows I'm upset. "I need to take this medicine," he mumbled against my shirt "You can't keep taking them, Flippy," I whispered, stroking his hair. I felt tears forming in my eyes.
He lifted his head to give me a look full of sadness. "Please," he begged softly, "I need them."
"Why do you need them?" I repeated
"You don't understand" and "Why though?" I pressed.
"They make everything better, everything. They make me go back to where I was happy before... before... " He started choking up slightly. I hated seeing him like that. I was more worried than I already was. It took every fiber in my body not to pull him into a hug.
"What about therapy?" I started only for Flippy to interrupt me.
"I tried that, but Flipqy ends up killing everyone..." he said with a slight chuckle, and then his expression turned sad again. "And how much pain I'm trying to get rid of him so that I can fit in as a normal citizen ."
"Flippy, that won't help him," I replied.
"No one is perfect and no matter how much I try to make myself seem like it, nothing ever will," he said sadly, closing his eyes as if he was fighting off a fight.
That's true. He never changes. He's been stuck like this since he lost his friends and comrades in the last battle of the war. Flipqy has been telling me that he wants to heal, but deep inside, he's scared that he can never fully recover and I hate it. He deserves happiness after losing so much, both to Flippy and Flipqy, because it's not fair to take a side to judge the other. They both have feelings because they're the same person.