I wrote this chapter while watching shitposts
Homestar: And do you know how nuts got in my candy baws?
SB: You didn't even tell us.
Homestar: And that's what I'm gonna do wight now!
(The tour guests, alongside Homestar, go forward into the Nut room.)
Homestar: Hewe we awe!
SB: It's just a buncha squirrels, why can't you just use The Cheats instead?
Homestar: The Cheats can't get nuts out whole, though.
SB: What if there's a... I don't know, a "bad nut" somewhere?
Homestar: You see, the leadew squiwwel has to tab it thwee times, if it's suwpwizingly hollow, it's bad and goes down that hole ovew thewe, fowgot what it was.
SB: Let me guess, a trash chute?
Homestar: Thanks fow weminding me.
Marzi: Did they give you explict permission for you to hire them here?
Homestar: They don't have to.
Marzi: This just counts as slavery.
Homestar: No, they'we just wowking hewe, they wewe twained to do so-
Marzi: I don't care. At least let me rescue ONE of them.
Homestar: I'm not giving them away.
Marzi: Fine then, I'll just contribute to the positive construction of the ecosystem myself. (proceeds to walk down the stairs)
(Marzi then walks near the squirrel #15.)
Marzi: Here, I'll get you out of this place-
(The squirrels proceed to leap onto her, pinning her down to the floor.)
Marzi: I- hey!
(The lead squirrel proceeds to knock 3 times in the top of her head.)
Homestar: Oh deaw...
SB: What?
Homestar: She is a bad nut aftew all...
(The squirrels begin lifting her up, and walking straight to the trash chute.)
Marzi: L-let me go!
(The squirrels then proceed to throw her into the chute.)
Marzi: HHHELPPPP!!!
Hurricane (angrily): What. just happened.
Hurricane: Ah well, guess I'm gonna have to find her, maybe's she's stuck in the middle? (proceeds to walk towards chute)
Squirrel: COWABUNGA IT IS
(squirrel proceeds to push Hurricane down the chute.)
Homestar: Oh well, I guess that should be a... uhhh... lesson... fow... you all?
SB: Let me guess, a buncha Cheats gonna pop out of nowhere and begin singing.
Homestar: Wight.
The Cheats: (proceeding to walk into the room)
also the cheats: (proceeding to do a funni Cheat Language cover of the 2005 veruca song 🙃)
*le skip*
Homestar: Thewe's only two of y'all left, let's just make the most outta this touw...
Homsar: AaAaAaAh, I'll be last one standing!
SB: How did Homestar get so smart? WHAT AM I HALLUCINATING RIGHT NOW!?
SS: Shut up, you aren't "hallucinating" or anything.
SM: *punches SS in the back* DAAAAANG!
Homestar: Quit fighting back thewe and let's just move on alweady!
(END OF CHAPTER)
YOU ARE READING
Homestar Runner and The Chocolate Factory
Fanfictioncursed crossover fanfic I guess
