Do You Believe in Magic?

Chapter 4 - Comfort in a Swapped State

Both Ed and Stede went about their bedtime routine in a very modest way. Despite the fact that they were both well-acquainted with their own bodies, they dressed away from one another - Ed in the auxiliary wardrobe, Stede in the primary one.

And even though Stede had seen Ed's body several times now by virtue of certain necessary bodily functions, he still tried to not look at the other man's body more than he absolutely had to.

That's not to say that he wasn't tempted, or that he didn't occasionally pause to slide a hand over his borrowed abdomen or examine the gallery of tattoos that weren't normally visible.

Stede finished changing into a nightdress and emerged to find Ed sitting on the edge of the bed in an identical nightdress, looking at the fairytale book. He found himself watching the other man and smiling softly. The feeling he had in the pit of his stomach was both alien and familiar. It was as if he was seeing Ed sitting there, but also seeing himself through Ed's eyes.

Which was true, in a sense.

He moved slowly and quietly across the room to Ed, examining the furrow of his own brow as the other man concentrated on the text. "Learn anything new?" he asked as he sat on the edge of the bed next to him.

Ed startled and inhaled a sharp breath. "Ah, no I just got absorbed in one of the other stories. It's about mermaids," he murmured. "I think...when this is all fixed..." he motioned between them. "...I think I like books."

That made Stede smile brightly. Ed mirrored the expression. "Well, you're in for a real treat! We'll start some lessons once we've fixed this. You're so bright I'm sure it'll take you no time at all to pick it up."

The compliment made Ed blush. His cheeks pinkened. "Awwh," he murmured.

That reaction gave Stede happy stomach flutters. He found himself staring at the other man. He knew, logically, that he should be terrified or panicking about the loss of a quick solution to their mutual predicament. But all he could think of was how happy he was to be with Ed. He reached out across the bed to catch his hand. He squeezed. "We'll be all right," he whispered. "I have faith in us." Then he started to brush his thumb over the back of Ed's hand.

Ed stared back, cheeks still brightly flushed.

In that quiet moment, Stede could see the other man behind his own eyes. Once he saw him, Stede held onto him. Without realizing it, he had moved closer, until their thighs were once again touching.

"It's not so bad, you know. Being you," said Ed with a wry little half-smile. "It's nice to speak to people without them being scared or intimidated." He returned the squeeze of Stede's hand. "And as scary as this is...it's also kind of fun? Is that awful of me?"

"No, it's not awful," Stede said with a smile. "I mean, it's sort of a ridiculous situation." And then he paused before saying softly, "You never scared me."

"I know," said Ed. "And you have no idea how much I fucking appreciated that." He looked down at their hands and twined their fingers more tightly together.

Without thinking, Stede reached out to tip Ed's chin back up, to regain eye contact and to see him once again. "It's not so bad being you, either. Lonely, though. But it is nice to have some respect." And then he paused, his hand going to his chin. "The beard is kind of a lot."

Ed laughed and nodded. "Mhmmm. I've been thinking of trimming it back. A bit. Not all the way. Blackbeard still needs a beard."

A comfortable silence fell between them. The two men just held hands and gazes and drank each other in. Stede hadn't realized before that moment how unique what the two of them had. He was a man who had been forced into a box and punished the moment he tried to push against the box or try to escape. And now here was this man who saw him, even from behind a different set of eyes. A man who understood him, and with whom everything was easy and gentle and warm. And even in this, the strangest of circumstances, they found synchronicity and understanding.

And it was in that moment that Stede Bonnet, in the body of Edward Teach, started to realize he was in love.

What's more, he had a sense that Ed had already figured it out, and was waiting for him to sort it out on his own. That thought made Stede's heart glow even more. What a patient man. What a beautiful, wonderful, funny man. How lucky he was to be in such a mad situation with this person.

Maybe it was something to do with the spell that gave him Ed's confidence. Maybe it was all him. Whatever it was, Stede leaned in and found himself saying, with a playful roll to his voice, "Hey Ed...wanna do something weird?"

Ed tilted his head and gave Stede a questioning look. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything else, Stede closed the gap between them and gently kissed the other man.

Ed didn't seem to know what to make of it at first, but there was only a momentary stutter before he returned the kiss with equal enthusiasm. Stede felt a hand on his waist that slid around to the curve of his back. He felt himself being pulled forward until their bodies were pressed together.

There was a giddy thrill to knowing what Ed's body felt like when it was being kissed and held. Stede felt tingly from his scalp down to his toes. He knew that all of this should feel wrong, that he shouldn't feel good kissing his own body. But both of them were willing participants, and it seemed Ed, judging by the intensity with which he returned the kiss, felt the same.

After they kissed for a moment, Stede realized that Ed was quivering slightly. He was still returning the kiss, but his body was humming in a curious way.

Stede pulled back just far enough to look him in the eye. "You all right?" he whispered and touched his thumb to the other man's chin.

Ed nodded and laughed a bit nervously. "I'm...yip. Just..." he laughed again, "I just...fuck. I don't know what to do? I should...I've kissed loads of men."

That made Stede's eyebrows go up.

"I mean...I know I have experience with..." Ed set a hand on Stede's side and squeezed his knee through the fabric of the gown. "...but I can't remember any of it."

"So you're nervous?"

Ed nodded. "Fucking weird."

"Well, I guess that explains why I'm not. I've got all of your..." he grinned wryly. "...sexual confidence. I stole all your swagger."

"It looks good on you," said Ed quietly, and with a soft little smile.

Those words made him blush. "Ed, we don't need to do anything. I just wanted to kiss you," said Stede. "Though, part of me is a little bit sad we did that for the first time like this," he motioned down to Ed's body.

"Oh I don't know. Kinda poetic. I mean, how many people get to really know each other?" Ed reached up to brush a bit of hair out of Stede's eyes. "Sometimes I see myself when I look at you, but mostly I see you . It doesn't matter what you look like. It's you, Stede. It's fucking been you since the moment we met. Maybe even the moment I heard about you."

Stede smiled brightly, but also shyly. He looked away, overwhelmed in that moment. Then he felt himself being pulled towards, and on top of Ed. He shifted and settled himself against the other man, twining limbs and resting his head against his shoulder. He still felt pangs of his borrowed libido, but the comfort of being held, and the other man's words were food enough for the moment.