DEREK ARKE: In Dark, I Saw Light [Arke & Serenity]

Kabanata 1

The silence inside his car was deafening and the anger he was emanating was so palpable that I’d rather jump out of the windows and commute or walk than remained sitting here next to him. Inis na inis na ako sa trato niya sa akin at hindi ko na talaga alam pa kung matatagalan ko ba itong sitwasyon ko. And to think that we were still an hour away from their home was making me more frustrated and uneasy on my seat.

Millie, you bitch, I swore to pull every strands of your hair out of your head!

Bakit ba kasi dito pa sa kapatid mong ito mo ako ipinasundo?

At pupuwede bang bilisan niya ang pagmamaneho? I could feel from my seat how much he hated me being here, how badly he wanted to push me out of the doors and leave me in the middle of the road, kaya bakit hindi na lang niya paliparin itong sasakyan niya nang sa gayon ay makarating na kami sa kanila at hindi na niya kailangan pang tiisin ang presensiya ko?

Millie!

I hated you!

Bakit nga ba kita naging bestfriend?

Maybe, he also felt that awkward and uncomfortable feeling in the air around us, he turned on the music player, an attempt to cool down the tension between us. But man, that was such a wrong and terrible idea. Mas lalo lang akong hindi mapakali. At kapag nananadya nga naman talaga ang pagkakataon ay ‘yong kanta pa nila ang nakasalang at ang kasalukuyang tumutugtog. And to make matters worse, the song was their single, the current hit, the number one in different radio stations here in the country and already crossing other continent, the best-selling, and most of all, my favorite song in their new album—Homesick.

Inilabas ko ang tingin sa bintana, pretending that the song was not hitting me home when in reality, it was hitting me right in my heart. Tulad ng title ng kanta na iyon ay ganoon ‘yong eksaktong nararamdaman ko sa tuwing napakikinggan ko ito. The lyrics were brilliantly composed. Every line in the song was relatable, especially to me. According to my research, lahat sila ay may kontribusyon sa lyrics ng partikular na kantang ito. Usually, their songs were mainly composed by D’Angelo being poetic that he was, but this time, this song, they all contributed and collaborated. ‘Yong intro, it was composed by him, ‘yong unang verse naman ay nanggaling kay Kuya War. However, the pre-chorus and chorus was from Dean who was the vocalist. ‘Yong bridge naman ay kay Hayes. And lastly, ‘yong outro ay nanggaling daw sa lalaking ito na katabi ko.

Tahimik na humugot ako ng hininga, kabadong-kabado dahil paparating na ‘yong bahagi ng kanta na sinulat niya. And when it was finally his part, I wasn’t breathing anymore.

Damn your love

That ain’t the only love I would have

One day, you’ll fucking see

You are no longer my serenity

The first time I had listened to that song, ilang beses kong pinaulit-ulit ‘yong partikular na lyrics na ‘yon. Pakiramdam ko kasi ay ako ‘yong pinatatamaan niya roon at talagang naisingit pa ‘yong pangalan ko sa kantang iyon. Gusto ko na lang na matawa dahil mukhang galit na galit talaga siya. But more than that feeling, I was hurting. I was regretting everything. The love he used to have for me was now being replaced by hate. And just like in the lyrics, it hurt that it seemed like he had been wanting to remove me in his memory.