the happiest girl, jensoo

zero, i'll be the happiest girl.

april 20th, 2019.
( seven days before the HM, CAN concert )
—

three years. they've been together in this damned group for nearly three years now.

the girl wasn't complaining about everything, no. everything was perfect, almost everything she could dream of the day she put herself in her favorite plaid jacket and auditioned for the entertainment.

this was where she wanted to be. this is.. or, she thinks this is what she wanted.

on stage. in front of people. an idol.

and she did enjoy it. she even loved her friends that came with it. blackpink was everything she loved, and she loved her members more than anything.

from the sweet australian girl to the hyperactive thai maknae that keeps fighting with her dog, she loved them to bits and pieces. she never once wanted to throw them away. she couldn't. she wouldn't.

she, instead, wanted to throw away the other member.

that new zealand girl.

"jisoonie, will you be eating with us?" a girl asks, opening the door from her hotel room to peek in. the older turned around from the desk, dropping her pencil from being caught off guard as the other smiled apologetically. "sorry, did i scare you?"

"oh chaeyoung-ah.. no. um, are you all eating together?"

"yeah, we're going to eat in jennie's room since her and lisa were playing games earlier. do you want to come with?" chaeyoung questions, now letting herself in as she closed the door behind her. "unless you want to talk."

jisoo froze, clearing her throat awkwardly as she shook her head, smiling. "talk about what?"

"..you've been acting weird. since the seoul concert. since the tour started" chaeyoung says slowly, seeming to be cautious with the way she was choosing her words. she hesitated, walking towards jisoo, but she only smiled back, holding out a hand towards the other. "you don't want to talk about it?"

jisoo took chaeyoung's hand into hers, pulling it over her shoulder as the younger rested her chin on top of her head, "there's nothing to talk about. but i like that about you. you always do that thing that usually the other two don't always do."

"..what is it?"

"check on me."

and jisoo didn't say anything else, thinking about the words she let out as she felt chaeyoung's arms wrap lightly around her neck in a hug. she didn't mean to ruin her mood, but she didn't expect herself to let it out.

lisa is simply scared to check on her. the girl doesn't exactly like being open about feelings and she doesn't know how to comfort, so her way of being there for jisoo would be to stay. quietly. offering her snacks and they'd watch her favorite shows. lisa would check on her every now and then, but she holds herself back.

god, and she didn't want to speak about jennie.

"you know.. i'll listen. do you want to talk about her? jennie?" chaeyoung asks, her heart beating faster against jisoo's head but she only shook her head.

"not yet." jisoo says, closing her eyes as she tried not to think too hard. not yet. "tonight, i want to be happy."

and jisoo chooses to be happy for another night. she'll spare her feelings for another time. besides, this was only the beginning. for many things.

this world tour was going to be every ounce of pain.

THE HAPPIEST GIRL © 2022, teahyvn.