ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴛɪᴍᴇ

ɪ ғᴇᴇʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ ɪᴍ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ - ᴅᴅᴏᴛ

2:12 AM
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i feel like shit.

complete shit.

i feel like no one understands me.

anytime i try to tell people how i feel, i get weird looks and brushed off.

"aint nothing wrong with u." my mom says.

"you'll feel better after a nap." my grandma says.

"maybe if you communicate more often you'll start to feel better." my therapist says.

ive tried all of those things. nothing works. ever since i started feeling like this ive been distincing myself from my boyfriend, darrian.

i know he's becoming suspicious with my sudden change. he most likely thinks im cheating on him.

i want to tell him whats going on with me, but how can i tell him when im not even sure whats going on with me.

i was laying in my bed watching ahs, the hotel season.

i heard my phone ding. i picked it up and pressed the text.

FBD❤️
open yo window

i let out a sigh before getting up and opening the window. i walked back over to my bed as he climbed through the window.

i layed back down and continued to watch my show.

"whats goin on?" he asked. i stayed silent, eyes still on the tv. "y/n."

once he realized i wasnt gonna answer he grabbed my remote and turned my tv off, but still, my eyes stayed on the tv.

"why u been ignorin me? what's goin on with you?" he sat at the end of my bed. i stayed silent. what was i supposed to tell him?

"y/n i know u hear me." i knew he was starting to get irritated.

"i....i dont know." i said quietly.

"whatchu mean u dont know?" he asked confused.

"i dont know." i stated again. "i dont know whats wrong with me. i just...i feel like im going crazy." my vision started to get blurry before i felt something wet drip down my cheek.

he rubbed his face, "why u aint come talk to me bout how u was feelin? we could've figured something out."

"i didnt know how to approach u. and i didnt wanna worry u."

"u ignoring me worried me." he looked at me. "tell me how u feelin. ill try to be as understanding as possible. ill try my best to help you as much as possible. please y/n." thats when i finally looked up at him, only to see tears in his eyes.

i let out a breath before telling him how i felt. this time, it felt different. when i told my therapist how i felt i gave her the bare minimum, but with darrian, i let everything out.

this was all i needed. all i needed was to find that one person who i trusted more than anyone. that one person who im most comfortable with.

by the time i was finished i was a crying mess. darrian pulled me into a hug and held me while i cried.

after a few minutes my crying died down.

"feelin better?" he asked me. i nodded my head yes in response. "are u sure?"

"positive."

"good. the next time u feel like this, come to me ight."

we pulled out of the hug and i nodded again.

"can u watch my show with me?" i smiled at him. he rolled his eyes before taking off his shoes and climbing to the top of my bed.

he laid down snd i turned the tv back on, putting on ahs again and cuddling him.

#lovehaterelationshipwiththis