when i was. || tomoe x f!reader ✔

❀ I remember

• Warning! This chapter (and this book in general) includes lots of mature themes and triggering subjects. This is your last warning to turn away if you're not willing to read it.
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𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙨 just a bit younger
things were much easier, I think.

But now, considering that I have nowhere to go anymore, it's sure taken one hell of a turn.

Sure, I could always go to my father's doorstep and beg to be loved again, but he's never gonna oblige. He's never going to take me in.
He's gone insane, even if he did let me in, I would be badly hurt.
Have to say, I pity that old man.

My memories tend to be very fuzzy. Where have I been kicked out of this time?
I sat myself down on a flimsy wooden bench, which creaked with the force of my weight.
That's a bit rude, but it's no use arguing with a bench, so I'll take it.

Right, my orphanage punted me out of its care after six whole years, didn't it? The management told me I was old enough to fend for myself, after I've just turned eighteen.
Which made me realize how little they cared about us in first place.

I was sent there along with my sister after my mom had commited suicide, I had somehow managed to survive with the help of Yua for about three years, before she was admitted to an actual hospital because of her being terminally ill, though when it came down to us wanting to know the reason she was so sick, the doctors just shrugged it off and went along with their day. Something had gone undetected.

I fell into the deep depths of despair, I was losing my sanity, always on the edge of impulsivity, I was considering to seriously injure myself, (not that I already wasn't) I wished to be closer to my older sister, to feel what she felt.

A lot of the times, I wished that it would be me, instead of her, who would suffer.

But she would always lecture me about those 'silly' thoughs, putting me at ease with that absentminded smile of hers.

This part of the street was eerily empty, not a single soul in view, as I exhaled, I saw my warm breath form into a mere cloud.
It was sort of cold, wasn't it?

It was really dark out here, this street being brightened only by the old, dimmened lampposts. Only then was I reminded of what was more to come,

I don't have an education anymore, do I.

I've only attended the classes they had back in the orphanage, that has always been my only chance of a better life. I'm homeless AND uneducated.

They kicked me out in the middle of the school-year, I know I'll have to register myself into the nearest school as soon as possible, but where will I live? How will I be able to get money in the meantime?

I remained sat all by myself in the middle of the night on the rude bench, idly picking at my skin as my mind was avidly bursting with thoughts,

or maybe that was just a migraine.

I wasn't a very big fan of the sudden scream from the man a few feet away from me, which pulled me away from my important thoughts. Was he on a tree? I quickly shifted my attention to a (young?) man clinging on to a singular branch, chanting for help. Gods, he's screaming like crazy. That really did catch me off guard, what was he even crying about?

Under the tree, stood a tiny, brown dog.
Was he serious?
If I hadn't given myself a strict training on looking human a few years ago, it would've ended real bad.* I can't just stand there and watch, that would be mean. If a person is genuinely scared, I have to do something.

"HELP ME! HELP! SOMEONE GET THIS DOG AWAY!!" The blond kept yelping on and about, it was driving me a bit crazy.

I flashed him that bashful smile of mine, carefully shooing the dog off to a place somewhere else. Poor little guy. Does he even have a home?