when i was. || tomoe x f!reader ✔

❁ why do we?

And as the next day followed, I had woken up again, confused, disappointed, I had raised my hand to carefully pinch at my skin.

It was still very real.

I immediately got to work after cleaning myself up, my work was so far very simple, (yet tiring) cleaning up the shrine, polishing it to perfection, weeding the garden, and something along those lines.

I have to say, weeding the garden might just be my least favourite activity out of those. I generally disliked getting dirt on my hands, but there was nothing I could do against it.

"You know, Lady Y/n, if you would make Tomoe your familiar, you wouldn't have to do all of this labor ever again!" exclaimed Onikiri, who seemed overly optimistic regardless of the situation in my hands, "yeah, I get that, but I don't think I'm ready for that type of.. confrontation with him," before I knew it, I had accidentally inflicted a cut my thumb with a small thorn, I stared at it for a little while, tilting my hand at different angles so that I could admire my wound.

"This is exactly why I refuse such a ditzy girl to act as my Lady In Mistress, just look at yourself.. Instead of actually getting anything done, you pathetically gawk at your own blood the whole day, how long are you going to keep going at it?"

I flinched, pulling back my hand as I quickly bit my lip in shame. It was Tomoe, how long as he been in here? I bit my tongue and stayed silent, refusing to add anything to his unabashedly rude statement. Who was he to act like this toward me? Better yet, what did I even do?

"Your silence doesn't affect me, if you disliked what I said so much, why don't you just go home?" I then grit my teeth, feeling that familiar, sorrowful pressure on my throat, like my heart was leaping out.

"Because I can't, I don't have a home to go back to, I told you that already," my voice was quivering, quiet. I had managed to keep my cool, which was exactly what I wanted, I didn't need to spill my heart out over everything.

"Oh, well that's not my problem," he responded with a hum, turning his back to me.
"Master Tomoe!" The shrine spirits cried out in choir yet again. I chose to ignore the way my heart was going way faster than intended, blinking back tears as they blurred my vision.

"I still don't think I'm ready for that type of confrontation.." ...

☆

"So, where did that Tomoe go?.."

I stared at the ugly, moldy hole in the roof, leaking. The shrine spirits told me all about why familiars are needed for a shrine to function. I kind of already knew but I had forgotten that piece of information over time. I had quickly brushed off my earlier statement, which its remnants still ache in my heart. I really didn't want to do this at all.

"He went to the world over yonder, Lady Y/n! But it's far too dangerous for you to be going there because-" I interrupted the shrine spirits, shushing them with my hands on their mask mouths "If you're concerned for my well-being and my combat skills, then you needn't worry - I have sort of mastered my self defense techniques. Probably. I know I'm not weak. Please, let that ease your doubts,"
"as you wish Lady Y/n.."
________________________
I was headed to the infamous world over yonder with the help of my trusty spirit pals,* finally stopping as we heard a bunch of feminine voices, laughing in a suspicious building which I would never have the guts to enter, then, followed by another more masculine, very familiar voice. Bingo. He was in the red light district, (whore behavior btw)
which was certainly a very peculiar pasttime, if you ask me.

I snuck my way in there somehow,* having to pinch my nose shut half of the time, due to the place reeking of alcohol and sex.

I now impatiently stood behind the tall, shoji doors, fiddling with my fingernails and picking at the skin on my lips. I leaned down to meet the faces of my shrine spirits, my exhale seeming more like a sigh, I lowered my voice to a whisper, "guys, I'm not sure I'm willing to do this anym-"