The Tiger and The God

Chapter 15

Dazai sighs as he shakes his head. 'Man this is so annoying. It just had to be Chuuya.' He stood there with his hands in his pockets, staring at the shorter male. He really did not care for Chuuya's outburst. He already blamed himself for things getting this far. He knew he wouldn't be able to help Atsushi but he still took Atsushi's main support away from him. The one person who was there to save him when he was in trouble. 'Damn the agency really did fail Atsushi.'

"Slug I don't want to argue right now. You need to get to Atsushi." He walked past Chuuya ignoring the furious but gobsmacked face. He made it to the door before turning around. He was going to hate saying this but this is for Atsushi.

"Take care of him, Slug." He then left quietly leaving Chuuya in slight shock. He hoped that this would work otherwise everyone might just lose Atsushi.

Chuuya stood there not knowing what to do. Dazai just told him to go to Atsushi but it felt like a trap. He never really knew when Dazai was up to no good when it came to him. He stared at the door in confusion for a few moments before breaking out of his stupor. He glanced around his apartment not knowing when he should go to Atsushi. A few hours ago he had watched Atsushi cry himself to sleep. He sighed as he headed to his bedroom, knowing he wouldn't be going to Atsushi tonight. He would go to him tomorrow after work, even though for the first time in his life he didn't want to go to work. He brought a bag out from his closet with a weight on his shoulders that didn't seem to want to go away. He knew the guilt he was feeling in his heart was immense. He knew he shouldn't have left Atsushi but he truly thought it was for the best. He packed the bag carefully putting a day's worth of clothes in it. He didn't know what was going to happen tomorrow but he rather be prepared.

He placed the bag near the front door before going to bed. He was going to need as much rest as he could get. The talk with Atsushi will drain him but he hopes Atsushi won't hate him after it.

Throughout work, Chuuya seemed deep in thought. His subordinates wanted to ask what was going on but knew to stay back when he started muttering about Dazai. Everyone felt like walking on eggshells around him not wanting the ginger to explode. They all let out a sigh of relief when he left for the day. Chuuya though was so lost in his head that he didn't notice any of this. He grabbed his reports and the bag before heading out. It was time to finally see Atsushi.

Walking up to Atsushi's dorm room he took extra precaution, not wanting the Agency to know he was there. He stared at the door in front of him for a good fifteen minutes. The nerves that settled throughout his body were slightly intimidating. He slowly raised his hand up and knocked quickly before he changed his mind. He brought his hand down, twitching impatiently as he waited for the door to open. Hearing the dooring open he looked up and held back a gasp. Atsushi looked absolutely frail. Chuuya could see how much weight he had lost and the dark circle even clearer than through the window. It made the guilt in him soar.

Atsushi looked at Chuuya in shock. He thought Chuuya didn't care about him anymore as he hadn't seen him since he was rescued. He could see the guilt in the other's eyes but he didn't understand why. Why did he disappear? Why was he left alone? Tears started to fall from his eyes as he stood there.

"Come here." He watched Chuuya lift his arms open. It was then that he broke. He ran into Chuuya's arms crying. He let everything that he built up go. Atsushi's sobs could rip someone's heart out with how much agony was in them.

"I am so sorry Atsushi. I am so sorry." He held the younger one closer not wanting to let go. He failed so miserably in trying to help. The sobbing man in his arms was evidence enough of that. The sobs that rang throughout the dorm broke Chuuya's heart. The agony. The pain. The exhaustion. It all tore at him as he wasn't here to help. Instead, he let his own fears control him and let Dazai help push him away. He never should have promised to stay away from Atsushi, not in his time of need. He could feel Atsushi just shattering in his arms having tried to stay strong for so long but just made cracks in himself.

"It will be okay, Atsu. Shh, I am here now and I won't be leaving again." Chuuya held him close, burying his face into Atsushi's hair. He whispered soothing words into his ear until Atsushi started to calm down. He rocked them gently back and forth hoping to get the younger male to calm all the way down. He knew they would need to talk but right now he needed to get Atsushi to sleep.

"Come on. Let's get you to bed." He felt Atsushi nod his head which made him smile. He moved them toward Atsushi's futon and lay down with him. He pulled the blanket over them and closed his eyes. He pulled Atsushi into his chest so the younger could listen to his heart.

"I got you, Atsu. I am never going anywhere again."

Atsushi's Dream

All he could hear were screams all around him. He didn't know where they were coming from as he glanced around the pitch-black room. He was confused why the room was pitch black. He could have sworn that he was just in his bedroom talking to Chuuya. What is going on? He stood up shakily as he needed to find a light source. He could feel the panic rise in him as the longer he walked the more he realized that there was no end in sight. His heart raced as he ran trying to find something or someone. He didn't want to be alone not again.

"CHUUYA! ARE YOU HERE? PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE!" He screwed at the top of his lungs, tears streaming down his face. The screams filling the void kept getting louder and louder.

"Please is anyone here!? Please just stop the screams! Please! HELP!" He ran and ran, tears pouring down his face as sobs escaped his throat. He just wanted the screaming to stop. He wanted it all to end. He ran until suddenly a door appeared in the distance. He picked up his pace just wanting to get out. He slams the door open, blinded by a bright light. He covered his eyes quickly to shield them. He heard the door behind him slam shut and then silence. At least it was just silence until an ear-piercing scream ran through the walls and down Atsushi's spine. He was scared to move his hand, to see what was most likely happening in front of him. He slowly moved his hand down, eyes widening as he watched his younger self get stabbed with a nail.

"No." He whispered under his breath.

"NO! STOP!" He screams trying to get the headmaster to stop. He didn't want this to happen again. Please he thought he left this behind. He blinked his eyes and his perspective changed. He was suddenly his younger self, the screams hurting his throat as he watched the headmaster continue to hammer the nail into his foot.

"PLEASE! STOP! I AM SORRY! PLEASE I WILL BE GOOD! PLEASE! IT HURTS!" He tried to fight the headmaster off but he was too weak. Sobs tore through his body making it hard to breathe.

'Let this end please.'

He couldn't breathe by the time the scenery changed. Every change seemed to delve deeper and deeper into his memories, memories he would rather not remember. Memories of being locked up for days without food. Memories of being beaten by the other kids until he was barely moving. He didn't want to continue this. It hurts so much. He could feel his mind breaking with each memory he relived. It was until things went pitch-black again and it was silent. The only noise was of him sobbing and gasping for breath. He slowly stood up, looking around trying to find a way out of this hell. He had wounds running down his arms from him trying to fight and protect himself. He held his arms close to his body trying to protect himself. He could hear screams start to ring through the void the closer he got to a bright light that suddenly appeared. He was scared, terrified, and horrified by the scenery that came before him.

Screams echo off the walls of the lab as his organs were ripped out one by one. Atsushi didn't want to experience this again. Anything but this. He could hear a voice screaming in the back of his mind but he assumed it was himself. He collapsed onto his knees as he was being harvested for his organs again and again.

"No. No. No. NOOOOO!"