A Perspective

Fear of the morning

I wait. I'm ready to sleep, to find peace, to "leave". But I lay here for hours hoping for my closed eyes to take me away but nothing happens. The thought of everything when I wake up scares me. The light from outside, the noise from people all around, the things others will tell me to do, the machines, the footsteps, the voices, movements, the wait for school to torment me another 5 days. It's to much. So much. All I want is touch and sleep. I don't want touch from my family but from my loved ones, my second family. I don't want to wake up from my sleep, my comfort, my peace. But the darkness of my closed eyes still won't take me away, and keep me. I lay here annoyed at my breath, my heart, my mind, the loud continuous movement in my own body. It's too much. The bottles of pills and blades welcome me to stop it all. But what if I fail and it becomes so much more, too much more. One day I will surely go insane, that is if I'm awake. But for now I lay here desperate in despair. Take me...