Worth the Wait

will you love me forever?

"Joon, are you awake?" Hoseok opens the door to the bedroom, peaking in at his friend.
"Yeah," Namjoon says softly, curled up against the headboard, blankets pulled around his shoulders.
Hoseok steps into the room, gently sitting down on the bed near Namjoon, "He's here again."
Namjoon looks up at him for the first time and Hoseok sighs, "Do you want to see him?"
"Not yet, I can't," Namjoon shakes his head, shrinking even further into his blankets.
Hoseok sighs again and shakes his head to Yoongi who was silently in the doorway waiting for his response.
Yoongi walks away, presumably to tell Jin to leave, and Hoseok opens his arms, letting Namjoon fall into him for some level of comfort.
"I love you, Joon," Hoseok says, "But you need to go back to your own apartment, you've already been here for too long."
"How long has it been?" Namjoon asks, voice muffled by Hoseok's shoulder.
"Two days," Hoseok says, patting Namjoon's head softly.
"That's not that long," Namjoon says, and Hoseok can tell he was pouting.
Hoseok chuckles, "I want my bed back."
Namjoon sits up, pulling away from Hoseok, "You've gotten used to not sharing way too fast."
"We moved out of that one-bedroom place 7 years ago Joon, I haven't shared a bed in so long."
Namjoon pouts, "It doesn't feel that long."
"True, it does feel like yesterday when we all lived in that one tiny room," Hoseok smiles almost fondly at the memories.
Namjoon sits silently while Hobi thinks, "Hey, you know what's always helped you?"
Namjoon looks up, wondering where Hoseok was going with this.
"You should go make a track; it always helps you figure out your thoughts."
Yoongi appears in the doorway once again, "Joon, you can use my home studio if you want, I'm not using it."
Namjoon looks up at Yoongi who nods to the other room, encouraging him to get up and do something. Namjoon nods and starts to shed his blanket armor, willing to give this idea a try.

Later that night Namjoon finally emerges from the small studio, looking much less lost and confused.
"Did it help?" Yoongi asks from the couch where he, Hoseok, and Taehyung were watching a drama.
Namjoon nods and flops down next to Hoseok, resting his head on Hoseok's shoulder.
"I'm glad you feel better," Hoseok says, patting Namjoon's head as the show continues in front of them.
Namjoon falls asleep much easier that night much to Hoseok's relief as he wasn't kept up by Namjoon's shifting and muttering.
He goes home the next morning, quickly showering and gathering his thoughts before he rides the elevator up two floors and finds himself in front of Jin's door, trying to force himself to knock.
He finally does and winces as he hears some shuffling and a bang from inside the apartment before the door opens and he comes face to face with a disheveled but still beautiful Jin.
"Joon," He says, in disbelief at the other man's presence.
Namjoon smiles, "Hi," Jin just stares at him, "Can I come in? It's okay if you don't want me to."
Jin shakes his head, backing up from the door, "No, I could never be mad at you, come in, please."
Namjoon looks at his feet, slightly ashamed of the way he had run from Jin, but walks through the door, kicking off his shoes as he follows Jin further into the apartment.
"Jin," Namjoon starts as they reach the kitchen, "I'm so sorry I ran away like that."
Jin smiles ever so slightly, eyes on the floor, "Why did you?"
"It's a bit of a long story," Namjoon says, "Could we sit for this?"
Jin nods slightly, and sits down at the same table they had eaten at several days before. Namjoon pulls out a second chair and sits down, takes a deep breath, and begins to explain.
"I'm gonna start ten years ago. The reason I proposed the marriage pact in the first place was because I was in love with you back then."
Jin looks up at him sharply, questions and shock in his eyes but Namjoon continues, "I didn't think you liked me so I suggested the pact, assuming that because you are so attractive and kind you would find someone but on the off chance you didn't then I might have a chance. I know we drifted and lost touch, but I never even really thought about dating anyone else. I talked to a few people, but they weren't you, so I stopped them."
"Then why did you run away when I confessed?" Jin asks, leaning forward across the table.
"Because I had come here to tell you something, I don't think I knew what exactly, but you said what you said, and I didn't know what to do. I had to take some time to process the new information and collect my thoughts."
Jin's brow furrows impossibly further, "And what are they?"
"I still love you and want to be with you. I can't ask you to be mine though without feeling guilty. I am going to be responsible for so much pain appearing in your life, and I don't know if I could live with myself if I asked you to go through that just so that I could have you."
Jin frowns, "Joon."
Namjoon looks up at him, "Jin, I really want to protect you from the crazy fans, but I know they will find a way to get to you no matter what I do. I didn't even want to tell you all of this, but Yoongi told me it was your choice to make so here I am. I want to be honest for once with you, and get everything out on the table for you to see."
Jin nods stares at the table and thinks.
Namjoon watches him with bated breath, knowing he shouldn't push Jin to come to a response, he had just given the older so much information.
"Jin? If you need some time to think, I can go back downstairs and wait," He finally says, and Jin nods with a small smile.
"I'll come down in a little while. I should clean up too."
Namjoon smiles bigger, standing up, "You still look gorgeous, Jin. Take your time, I'll wait up for you."
Jin's eyes widen at the compliment be he manages to nod, letting Namjoon walk out of the apartment.