The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

season 1 episode 1 "the unaliving book"

THE FIRST EPISODE OF THE DISNEY- ORIGINAL SERIES BASED ON THE VERY SUCCESSFUL FILM "THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMATE DESTINY" IS HERE

As President Albedo finishes sipping the last drops from the last bottle of infinity stone Gatorade, Optimus Prime dropped from the sky and exploded the entire section of the White House he was in.

"That was pretty rude of you-" Albedo grumpily wipes dirt off his drip as the transformer points to the death note.

"GIVE ME THAT."

"Why-"

"I NEED IT TO KILL BILL CIPHER. HE ALLOWED PEPPA PIG TO GAIN ALL OF HIS POWER INSTEAD OF ME-"

"Yeah I know, I put that part on loop...." He pauses to think. "No, I don't think I will."

"GIVE ME IT."

"Why do you want this piece of anime merch so much-"

"JUST. GIVE. ME. IT-"

Albedo suddenly gives him a death glare as the sky above them turns pitch black, Beethoven being played extra loudly in the distance. He turns to the page of the death note that has "OPTIMUS PRIME" written in sparkly pink gel pen." Leave or I'll have to end this the hard way."

"But the death note doesn't work like that-"

"REALITY CAN BE WHATEVER I WANT!" Is yelled out by Albedo as he harnesses the reality stone he consumed, causing an explosion of red kool-aid to occur at the feet of Optimus Prime. 

Startled, the transformer resorted to launching frozen pieces of blue Gatorade at Albedo at the speed of 0.003 mph but it was no use as he began to channel the powers of the space stone, teleporting Optimus Prime to the Forkingham Palace.

———

"HEYYYYYYYYYYY SISTERSSSS." Declared the new king of the United Kingdom, King James Charles III. "Since Oli London was kidnapped by the minions I'm the new monarch now, so uhhhhh uhhhh-" he paused to apply his 876th layer of matte lipstick. "Buy my eyeshadow palette and forget about my apology video please."

The crowd around the palace was silent, before erupting into boos and cries. 

"ALL MIGHT WOULD'VE BEEN A BETTER RULER!!"

"KING GEORGIE PIG III COME BACK."

"HE WON'T COME BACK HE MOVED TO JURASSIC PARK!"

Just at that very remark, a miracle fell from the sky and right where a woman named Bella Swan was standing a robot crash-landed. Expired orange juice spilled out from her guts and formed a puddle.

At first, everyone opened their mouths to rejoice and thank the lord Colonel Sanders for the unaliving of Bella Swan. But as soon as she got up- revealing that all the orange juice was from a papercut- she was pelted by the signs everyone made protesting the coronation of King James Charles III.

"You!" King James Charles III pointed his giant eyeliner staff at Optimus Prime. "Be my prime minister."

He stared at the king for 8 seconds before opening his mouth. "Why-"

"The guy who was the prime minister stopped to become the sidekick of Camilo Madrigal. And idk I just need one please be mine."

"Only if you help me get the death note."

"Yasssss idk what that is though-" The guards of Forkingham Palace raised their forks in the air as they carried Optimus Prime, the new prime minister, to be seen by the people. They all cried tears of joy.

———

"STUPID MINIONS-" Albedo screamed as he watch the banana gnomes burn down a temple dedicated to Greater Lord Duolingo Owl. "THE #$&% AUDACITY."

Albedo hated the minions with every drop of liquified infinity stones in his body. These earthly demons had haunted the universe for years.  

"THESE GREMLINS ARE THE PRODUCT OF THE COMBINED EFFORTS OF THE DEVIL TO CATER TO THOSE WHO LACK BRAINCELLS TO FOCUS ON THESE VELVEETA CHEESE DEMONS INDUCING FEVER DREAMS INTO PRE-K CHILDREN!" He put a piece of TNT inside a minions plush and threw it a mile away into a big bonfire, and then spoke in a low voice to himself. "One day, when I succeed, all minions-branded items will be burnt to ashes in a bonfire at churches globally as a sincere gesture of the unity of us all against these monstrosities."

The minions were the bane of all evil. Because of minions, tiktok didn't get banned. Karens didn't vaccinated. The great firewall of China didn't get removed. Donald Trump wouldn't have been president.

Numerous wars have happened due to the minions. The war between the island of Smurfs and the Cinnamon Roll Kingdom, for example, which ended with the deaths of millions of beanie baby plushies. The moment they started integrating them into society, the apocalypse was near. Now in such a short time span they have corrupted members of the UN as well as King James Charles III.

With the infinity stones forever ingrained in his body as well as the death note, Albedo could save the world and send the minions back to the land of the devil.

But without finding who ate the sacred cinnamon roll and consulting the wise Morbius first.

The credits then roll, which is a lofi remix of "never gonna give you up" and "gotta catch em' all" ft. Taylor Swift and Michelle Obama