The crew of Squad 257 is flying home after a long mission. Or, it wasn't really that long, but it felt like that. No one needed to be in the cockpit with the autopilot working. Clasher, Petri, and Cinnabar are discussing the merits of eating Neapolitan ice cream verses eating all the flavors separately, and both Justice and Indigo are catching up on some much-needed sleep. Suddenly, the shuttle stops and a kid pops into existence in the middle of the shuttle.
Clasher: GAAH—oh wait. *Sighs* Hi, Analyst.
Petri: Wait, what? Why have we stopped? Why is there a kid in the middle of the shuttle and why aren't they wearing a space suit? This goes against regulation!
Northwind: Petri, I am regulation. And the rules don't apply to me.
Cinnabar: Ha! See, Petri? It really doesn't matter that I've broken a rule, or two... *softly* or a hundred...
Petri: Rules are everything!
Clasher: Guys, guys, relax. Analyst, why are you here? And how are you here?
Northwind: I literally wrote myself into existence into this world. And you can call me Northwind, no need to be so uptight. As for why I'm here, I'm here so that some friends can ask you questions and requests scenes, backstory or not.
Justice: *Trying to calm her breathing and rousing Indigo* What... sort of friends?
Indigo: *Quietly* Do I have to answer them?
Northwind: Friends that have been following the progress of the mission! And don't worry, Indigo. Right now I'm writing this so that no one can kill anyone else, so don't worry—it's literally impossible to go on a murderous rampage.
Petri: Uh, everyone else is dead.
Cinnabar: Oh, really? Well, I didn't notice the silence and the emptiness of the shuttle, so that's what happened? Wow, thank you, mister historian!
Petri: Shut up. And seriously, though, everyone else is dead. Gone, hasta luego. Out of this existence plane.
Northwind: Not for long!
The shuttle fills up with the previously deceased crewmates popping back into existence.
Winger: What the heck just happened?
Forte: *Glaring suspiciously at Northwind* We just got called back from the great beyond. Was that Necromancy?
Northwind: *Quietly* That's exactly what someone else said...
Sunset: *Ignoring Northwind* It was the power of the keyboard. Hey, where's Wren? And Luna and Epsilon?
Justice: Wait, Eps—
Northwind: They'll join us later. For now, peeps, you can ask all of them any question that you like! Or me, but that's just for lore or whatever.
Beta: Wait, just any questions?
Northwind: *Thinks for a bit* No, not just any questions. Special questions. Every question is special in its own right.
Omega: I'm not sure that's what they meant...
Northwind: No, but I spun it that way!
Odyssey: We're in trouble.
Northwind: Yep! Your secrets, at least.
Cinnabar: Well, I like this! Blackmail material!
Petri: *Facepalms* Northwind, what have you created?
Northwind: Hopefully accurate characters!
Indigo: *Quietly* We're going to regret this...
Northwind: Well... maybe, or maybe not... just depends on how good you guys are and how many times you try to murder me. Maybe if I don't have to dodge a knife or a bullet this time, I'll be more lax... eh... maybe not...
Indigo: *Even quieter* Yep. Regretting this...
Northwind: You guys have to answer.
Petri: Or else...
Northwind: *With a straight face* Or else I can simply delete your entire existence.
Cinnabar: So, we'd just be ingredients in a line of deleted code? Awesome!
Petri: NO! Not awesome! The science simply proves that it isn't safe to be 'ingredients in a line of deleted code!'
Cinnabar: Hey, Northwind, do you think you could delete my cousin? He needs to cool out.
Petri: AGH!
Cinnabar: Okay, can you please explain to me how you're okay with setting the yard on fire, but not with becoming lines of deleted code?
Petri: Because I know for a fact that it's not safe to become a line of deleted code!
Cinnabar: Do you though? Do you?
Petri: Yes, I do, but I'd be surprised if that thought... no... any thought had ever crossed your mind; it must have been such a lonely journey in that sorry excuse of a brain, you mothercustard piece of-
Northwind: I'mma cut you off right there.
Cinnabar: Was Petri going to swear for the first time in his life?
Northwind: No, because he was going to start boring everyone in this room to death. Well, maybe not Winger, Indigo, and Forte. They could always just have Kor, Tal, and Dax be bored to death instead of them.
Forte: That's the only advantage of having a murderous, friend-killing parasite inside of you.
Indigo/Tal: Yeah... I have to apologize for their actions...
Sunset: *Looking up from her PADD* Oh, this is so useful to know who's speaking.
Northwind: What is?
Sunset: I'm... looking at Wattpad right now. Our introduction.
Winger: *Looking at the screen* Hey, what's 'Orders and Conscience'-?
Northwind: DON'T YOU DARE-
Sunset: THERE'S OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS SITUATION?!
Everyone except for Forte, Winger, and Indigo: WHAT?!?!
Forte: Oh, them. I vaguely remember that. What about you two? *Nods at Winger and Indigo*
Indigo: *Shrugs*
Winger: I only barely remember that-
Northwind: As you should! *Uses keyboard to fully erase everyone's memories*
Indigo: *After a minute* ... I feel like there's... something that... we're forgetting...
Northwind: Really? Well, I'm sure it's nothing important (stupid parasites with their state of temporal flux, you ruin everything and anything in this life-)
YOU ARE READING
Q&A Sessions for Beneath the Ice
RandomNOTICE: Due to the unfortunate rise in mock websites, this is a disclaimer that this book is only being published on Wattpad. Please leave whatever other website you are reading this on and check out the original book. Let me know if you have stumbl...
